The Viktor Wilt Show

Speaker 1: Well, hello all and welcome to the Victor Wilt show today. Should we start with radio news? Yeah, that's fun, isn't it? For the one percent of you that give a crap, uh, Howard Stern, it would appear starting to really slow down his program. Now, he's been doing so for many years, but uh looking like he's gonna move to one show a week, and he's also laid off about uh a dozen people from his show, which sucks for that portion of his staff, but I also have heard over the years from people who've worked for him, he doesn't pay very good, so hopefully they can find a better gig anyway, but he'd recently signed a new contract. Previously he was making like a hundred million dollars a year, a hundred million dollars a year. Can you imagine making one million dollars a year? Maybe some of you can.

We got a lot of different types of listeners. Well, I tell you, I know one guy who can't imagine making one million, but a hundred, hundred million a year. Anyway, moving to one show a week. And so I don't think he was doing five shows a week to begin with. But let's say he was. So if if we reduce his wages by you know, a fifth or you know, four fifths, whatever.

It's too early for math, everybody. Cut me a little bit of a break, but I think that would put him down to what still 20 million a year to do one show a week, and his staff finds all the content for the show, too. Be great to be Howard Stern.

But again, a lot of people online are like, oh, look, he's a typical radio guy. He fired, you know, a bunch of people. The guy, how many years of me and Peach has been saying, you know, it it's time to kick back and enjoy your like billions of dollars.

He's he's been making big money for a long time. The guy's in his 70s, alright? Go ahead and retire. It's like politicians, you in your 70s, just call it quits, okay? You're gonna die soon. You gotta like take some time off, enjoy some retirement.

You're in your 70s, you're old, you shouldn't be working. Stern, man, and he has all the money in the world. You you could never spend it.

I tell you what, if I had all the money in the world, I would at least be trying to spend some of it. Why not? But wake up, he does a morning show too. Must be a morning person. If I if I did not need to get up to come in here, you know what I would be doing right now?

Yeah, I would definitely be sleeping because I was comfy this morning. Well, anyway, maybe one of these days some of that radio money will open back up once Howard Stern fully retires, but uh knowing what Cheapskate Sirius XM can be and all the other radio companies out there, I'm doubting it. I r I wonder if today I should just say screw it and take the plunge and buy some of the crap I need for my home studio. Now, I know my home studio is a problem because it's a mess.

My computer isn't working right. But maybe if I got that new camera that I wanted, it might motivate me a little bit. I I gotta gotta at least wait till my next payday.

You shouldn't uh bust out the credit card when the bank account's looking real sad. Alright, well, good luck to Howard Stern. Enjoy your your billions. Jeez. So I stumbled across a post online that I haven't read through any of it yet.

But it says, what celebrity is surprisingly bad at the thing they're famous for. And it reminded me of a post that I made on Facebook over the weekend. Peaches and I talk about this radio website, Barrett Media from time to time. Barrett Media loves sports and news talk radio. They post about it all the time, which okay, fine, it's part of the biz. But they posted this article, was it yesterday?

Maybe it was even longer ago. Popped up on my feed in the last couple days. And it says, why Jesse Kelly refuses to take live callers during his Premier Network show? I've never heard of Jesse Kelly. All right.

Does that make me a shame in the biz? I don't know. Because he's syndicated nationwide. They got him on over 260 stations around the nation. He's a political talk host. All right, which is the easiest job in radio. Unless you're taking live calls. Then you might have to actually use your brain a little bit. A little bit of that critical thinking. You've got to form a coherent thought and debate with your callers, hold a conversation with them.

Jesse Kelly don't do that. No, he just babbles on about whatever today's current, you know, talk points of the day for his political party might be. Again, the easiest job in radio, political talk radio. Because all you gotta do is pull up the news for the side you're on, and then you just spew out the coping the copy points all day. It's it's easy. You don't have to have any thoughts of your own. You don't even have to have a brain in your head. You just all right, tell me what my opinion is, what's the agenda of the day?

I'm glad to spread it. So Jesse Kelly says he doesn't take live calls, and the reason that he doesn't do it is because he says that they're uh a crutch, they're the worst thing in the world, and then calls are when you run out of things to say. Yeah. Oh, if you're taking calls on air, that just means you're a bad host. Now, this guy does political talk, okay. I've listened to a lot of political talk, and there are a number of them that'll take phone calls. Now, generally they have a phone screener, which I also think is weak. I think you you need to be able to deal with difficult callers, all right? People who aren't necessarily great at speaking over the phone, it's good practice. Yeah, these guys at these big networks, they've got somebody sitting there answering the phones, they prep them for the questions, they make sure they're gonna have the right opinion to be on the show, so they don't make the host uncomfortable. Take the calls, bro!

Whatever, he's like, uh, calls are a two now. Uh, one of the most popular programs we have on K-Bear is called Traffic School. It airs Fridays, 8 45 a.m., powered by my homies at the Advocates Injury Attorneys, and it's 40 minutes of nothing but talk. Guess what? People who don't even listen to K-Bear ever tune in to listen to live callers. This guy's full of crap. He's making an excuse because he's afraid to take live calls.

So, as far as that thread, what celebrity is surprisingly bad at the thing they're famous for. I think if you uh don't take live calls and you're a radio host doing a live program, yeah, you're bad at your job. Now, if it's a pre-recorded show, which maybe his show is pre-recorded, it's syndicated, so it probably is. It's probably not really live. Um, if it's a pre-recorded show, all right, taking calls. You can't take live calls. Obviously, the show's not live. But if it's a live radio show and you're afraid to take calls, you suck.

Often enough, I see people complaining about their jobs online. Ugh, some titamine chuck. Oh, the boss man from a backdrop and crazy. Uh, you gotta get yourself a new job. That's what you need to do. You need to get over and check out the fully redesigned higher east idaho.com and find something more up your alley.

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Go check it out. Well, I was talking with Becca the other day about boating with Lieutenant Crane on Traffic School Friday. He brought up boating. And we learned a while back that stepping foot on another man's boat is not manly.

Yeah. I don't know what list we were looking at, but it was a list of things that were unmanly. And one of those things was stepping foot on another man's boat. So, dudes, if you're ever looking for an excuse to get out of having to go out on a boat with your friend, just be like, dude, sorry.

I don't step foot on other dudes' boats. Alright. I'm a man. And that is unmanly.

Got a thread here. Men, what's something society expects men to enjoy that you secretly don't? Alright, well, let's find out how manly I am, according to society. What are we gonna have on here? Uh football. Maybe uh fishing, hunting.

What's other dude's stuff? I mean, sports in general. Uh I don't know, let's see what people are saying here. Uh, gambling. I don't think society just expects men to enjoy gambling. Is I don't know, it's something that a lot of people get into, and I would warn against it. It's a good way to throw all your money in the garbage.

If Yeah. If you're like me, you've learned your lesson. Every once in a while, I'll buy a scratch ticket or a Powerball and go, heh. I can't wait to just throw this dollar or three in the garbage. Yeah, gambling.

Uh I don't enjoy it because I don't win. So it's not even a secret. All right, continuing on with the thread. Men, what's something society expects men to enjoy that you secretly don't? I don't think again that society expects men to enjoy gambling. Uh mowing the lawn. Does society expect you to enjoy that? It's a chore. And I'll tell you what, right now, it sucks mowing the lawn, right? My lawn needs mowed, but it's a hundred degrees outside. All right, and by the time the sun starts going down, I'm like, okay, it's bedtime. Too late to mow the lawn, and then you know, I don't want to be that neighbor that's out at 6 a.m. crushing it down.

Somebody'd complain. Ugh, looking at a high today of 91, by the way. It's gonna be hot every single day. So do your yard work at night. Alright, let's get back to this threat about things society expects men to enjoy.

Power. Okay, this person says I've been in leadership positions and did not like it. I hate people wrangling. Yeah, being in a management position can be annoying. Um, you probably have to have like that psychotic kind of politician power to like really get a kick out of it, right? You have to be able to like do something big, bossing around a handful of employees.

That is not exciting power whatsoever. It's just a lot of work and headache. All right, what else do we got here? Uh, the fact that almost every aspect of modern male life is a competition is exhausting. Stop making it a competition then, settle down, just do what you do. If you suck at it, you suck at it. Keep practicing. If you're good at it, you're good at it. What do you think I'm wasting time this point in my life competing with other dudes? I ain't got time for that.

No. Anyway, we might look at more of this in a minute. Anyhow, let's get back to this thread about things that society expects men to enjoy. But people commenting say they secretly don't enjoy these things.

We've talked about mowing the lawn. Uh everything being a competition. Again, things that I don't think society just expects men to enjoy. Why would you enjoy mowing the lawn? I mean, unless you just really gotta get out of the house.

You know. Let's say you got two options. Sit in front of the TV and play video games or mow the lawn. Where are you going? Alright, some of you might go mow the lawn. Whatever.

Alright, this person says, as far as something society expects men to enjoy that they don't. Cars. They said to me they're just transport, and that's it. I'm surprised it uh didn't say trucks. But I guess you know, we talked to crazy Carl and Ben from the advocates often enough, they're into cars. Uh I would probably be more into cars if I had money.

Like I'd just buy like a Prius, whatever gets the most gas mileage, and then I'd get made fun of for that car. I have a truck. I'd get rid of it, but I always end up using it for truck stuff.

Right now, the whole back of it's filled up with crap that needs to go to the dump. Uh what else are men supposed to enjoy? Cigars. Yeah, no, not my jam.

That's one that I uh never understood. Even when I was a smoker, which don't ever smoke, don't ever touch nicotine. Kids, anyone listening, don't ever touch nicotine, ever. So don't it's terrible. Super addictive. But even when I was smoking, didn't like cigars.

Just not my thing. And I even ran a shop where we sold like fancy cigars. So I got to try some, you know, supposedly really good ones. Um just wasn't my thing. Uh strip clubs, yeah.

Also, not my jam. Cause I'm cheap. I I struggle with the bar in general. Well, like, five dollars for a drink.

Okay, I could get six of them for like maybe ten bucks. And I have a pool table at my house, and much better music. Also, lacking in the irritating people department. It's not too bad.

I I don't know, I did enjoy my house when it was cleaner. I need to work on that. Let's see here.

What else are dudes supposed to enjoy? Work? Society does not expect men to enjoy work. Society does not expect anyone to enjoy work.

I I guess people probably expect me to enjoy work. Like, oh, he's so lucky he gets set in a box, he listens to music, he just talks. No, there's a lot of behind-the-scenes crap I gotta do. When you're listening to the songs, a lot of the a lot of the time I'm doing something really boring.

It's what I need to work on as soon as I'm done yapping here, but I also gotta figure out freak news. Work, give me a break. Nobody expects anybody to enjoy work. Fight culture and violence. Maybe society expects you to enjoy that as a dude, but like MMA. But I don't know at this point. If you like just go out and get in fights, you're an idiot.

Alright. One, you could kill somebody, two, do you like jail? Does jail sound pretty awesome?

Yeah, jail's great. Let's see, what else do we have here? Football. Okay, I mentioned football earlier. Uh, not my jam, but I'm not I'm not a sports guy in general. Hate it when I'm somewhere where they are doing trivia and it's sports trivia. It's like, all right, I'm out, and I enjoy trivia.

Let's see. The need to be strong, handle everything and not say anything. Does society to expect expect you to enjoy that? No. No, they don't. They might expect it of you.

They might expect you to be strong and handle lots of stuff and not say anything, but who expects you to enjoy that? Nobody. Sports. I I don't think society just expects all men to enjoy sports. Sports, I I mean, they're still huge, but I don't know if they're as big as they used to be.

Alright. Heavy drinking culture. I I don't think people expect that of dudes anymore either. Times are different now.

You know. This person's like, if you don't want to get absolutely wasted at a social gathering, people treat you like you're broken. Uh, you must have a different definition of being absolutely wasted. Alright.

Trust me. Most people, if you actually get totally wasted, they're going to be irritated with you. You go from being the life of the party to can somebody get that guy an Uber? Get him out of here. That guy is driving me up the wall. Someone drag him out. Put him on the couch and let him pass out. Dude needs to shut up. Okay.

I got a lot of tabs open. Where should we begin? I guess this one. It's just loads of fun. This couple's a mess. They're out of Georgia. Both of them in jail facing a slew of charges. Uh cops showed up to serve a search warrant for a drug investigation. So they get there and they find the husband and wife in a shed on the property. And they got a toaster out there.

The husband is just burning meth in the toaster, trying to destroy evidence while his wife's trying to delay the deputies from coming inside. Don't come in yet. Oh no, don't come in. And cops are like, no.

It reeks of burning chemicals. We're coming in. So they pushed through the door, and then the guy came at him with a chainsaw. He eventually dropped it when they're like, dude, drop the chainsaw.

No one was hurt, but yeah, they they got. I mean, the charges are so long that I can't read them all to you. They had tons of different kinds of drugs. Um, you know, charges for intent to distribute each different type of drug they had. Uh people, rehab, all right.

If you're struggling with a little bit of that meth addiction or any other type of, you know, substance problem. Help is out there, okay? Get some help. It's always better to try to get off the junk than just keep moving forward. All right. Life will be better.

You won't end up going after the police with a chainsaw or burning meth in a toaster. Making national news. Alright, well, let's see.

What else we got here? Oh, how dare you? How dare you try to get me to subscribe?

I know a way around that. Hey, this isn't the one I was trying to look at. I wanted to see about the guy who got uh mowed down by a bull at the running of the bulls.

Now, that's not that uncommon as it is the running of the bulls, but this guy was 86 years old, an 86-year-old British man injured during the running of the bulls. Okay. There's certain things you shouldn't do at 86 years old.

I'm thinking pretty high on the list is running with the bulls in the running of the bulls. All right, 86. That's too old, okay? I fell down in my driveway a few weeks ago, screwed up my wrist.

It still hurts. You're an old man who gets, you know, mauled by a bull, you're gonna be having a bad time. I think at 80 plus, it's time to retire.

Okay. If I'm gonna say that about politicians, you know, once you're you know, getting up into the 70s, you're too old, retire, leave it to young people. You don't understand the world anymore. I also don't run with the bulls. Or maybe we should have all politicians run with the bulls. If they can't survive, they they can't, they can't run, right?

If you can't run, you can't run. Sounds like a plan to me. Okay, what else is going on here? Uh, if you're a felon, don't post a bunch of pictures of yourself holding firearms on Instagram. You know what'll happen? You'll go to jail because you're not supposed to have guns. This guy's facing 15 years. Uh, he was also uh out uh you know, driving like a maniac and took the cops on a high-speed chase.

Another thing you shouldn't do when they're already looking for you because you're a felon posting pictures of yourself with firearms on Instagram. So he'll be away for a while. Looking like uh maybe maybe up to 15 years.

About that same as the last guy. All right. And uh, ladies. If you're thinking of installing a uh pole in your house so you can practice your your pole dancing. Make sure you don't put it anywhere near a sprinkler. And also, I mean, you gotta make sure it's very securely attached.

Okay. Uh, this woman in uh Houston. Well, she didn't have the pole attached very well. It ended up coming out of the ceiling, and then it smashed into a sprinkler. You know, one of the the ceiling sprinklers, and uh just flooded her entire apartment. You know, I mean, it could be worse. Nobody got hurt or anything like that, but I hate floods and spells.

I I would not be very happy about that. So make sure you go like direct into a stud. Maybe maybe even use some wall anchors and things like that. Make sure that pole is very well secured.

Okay, even if you just rip a hole in your ceiling, that's a bad time. All right, we made it to eight. Let's hope this day goes by quickly, people.

All right, let's go. Sorry, Jade had me laughing off air. Stupid Robert. What's up, Robert? Hey, Bob. How you doing, Bob? I'm Bob. Oh, well, quit stealing people's credit cards, Jade. Nothing of the sort.

I was asleep in bed. Trunk. Oh, that's so funny. Drunk idiots. So somebody shows up at Jade's door.

Get out Get out of here, Robert. Stupid idiots. I'm glad you have a camera at your front door like me so you can catch the funny stuff. Yeah. You know, you got to see the video of me falling down in my driveway. I gotta see the video of two people screaming at you trying to.

Speaker 2: Two drunk idiots Not even knowing where they're at. Who does that? Shows up at night where the all the house lights are off and just relentlessly starts banging on the door saying, Give a credit card!

Speaker 1: Now, did the you've how many years have you lived at that house? I remember when you were house shopping and like well, 2019.

Speaker 2: Okay.

Speaker 1: So seven years. I was gonna say, did the person who lived there before you was their name Robert? I think so. Okay.

Speaker 2: But when I try to look that name up, I can't find it anywhere. So I have no idea how these people were like, This is his house!

Speaker 1: Well, they said they had your ID, Robert. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: Robert, what a stupid name.

Speaker 1: Anyone with the name Robert, what's wrong with you? You're gonna change it to something that starts with a V, Robert. Oh man, so did they just finally end up storming off?

Speaker 2: After I was like, the cops are on the way.

Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. They said to call the cops. That would have made for a great conversation because the cops show up, you finally go outside, you show them your ID that does not say Robert. You can bring out the title to your house. Look, the name matches.

Speaker 2: All I wanted was some sleek.

Speaker 1: He forged all these documents. He's clearly Robert, and he stole my credit card.

Speaker 2: Way too good looking to be a robber.

Speaker 1: Hey, I know a very beautiful Robert.

Speaker 2: What made me the angriest is like I had just gotten to sleep. Oh, dude. And I was so tired.

Speaker 1: I I would have been furious because we've been talking about our difficulties in getting to sleep lately. If I actually crashed out at 9 o'clock. I mean, actually, even if I was wide awake, if someone showed up on my door at that hour, I would be furious.

Speaker 2: That's not an appropriate time to come knock on somebody's door, especially when all the house lights are off. Yeah. And I can understand like a one knock. And then you wait. And then if you don't get an answer, you leave like a no. Not a really it's like, good.

Speaker 1: Actually, I get mad when people show up at my house at like 4 p.m. Like, why is someone here?

Speaker 2: Don't show up at dinner time and don't show up after the lights are off. It's like Halloween. If the lights are off, don't go to the door.

Speaker 1: I know I was looking at my uh phone last night when I was like, oh crap, I gotta call Jade. He's probably eating dinner right now. I'll text him. I haven't heard from him yet. All right, I'll call him. Alright, I'm just gonna have to make the judgment call.

And then thankfully you text me back. That's right, Robert! Hey, it's Robert! Let We answered my question! I got a question! I don't Oh dare my question! Robert! Answer my questions!

Open the door! All right, I was angry. I'll bet. Watching that video made me angry. I mean, again, people at the door, period, even if they're like selling Girl Scout cookies, I'm annoyed. So somebody screaming at me through my

Speaker 2: camera relentlessly banging on the door and ringing the doorbell. My dogs are freaking out. The kids are just had just gotten to sleep too. They woke up the whole house. I man, I was angry.

Speaker 1: Hey, did you steal my ID? I've been missing my ID. Go on, Robert! Have anybody out there seen an ID that says Robert on it and has a bald guy? Like, you know what's funny is I'll see people post on Life in Idaho Falls or groups like that, the picture of somebody who's lost their ID, and they like cover up the address, and they're like, Does anybody know this person? Why don't you go to the freaking address?

Speaker 2: Yeah, go there at nine o'clock and bang on their door relentlessly.

Speaker 1: I found your ID, Robert! I found it! I've got it right here. That's your name.

Speaker 2: It's not the fake one you go by.

Speaker 1: Give me back my credit card! That's why I know you have it.

Speaker 2: Well, it's great as you can't even find the person that they the this group of people showed up to look for. Yeah. Like, how do they find my address? I don't know.

Speaker 1: We did a little bit of quick googling.

Speaker 2: What I'm guessing is uh the lady was dating the Robert. And she just liked Roberts. Unless your name's Robert, you're not dating this one.

Speaker 1: Well, sorry for her.

Speaker 2: Hey Robert, you have my other boyfriend Robert's your credit card, give him back.

Speaker 1: Sorry for this Robert's taken. Uh hey, so Jade, did you use up all of your fireworks on the 4th of July? Yep. Yeah. See, I stupidly spent way too much money on fireworks. Weird. And uh did you use your credit card, Robert?

Yes. Who has it? Who has the fireworks store? I wonder if the fireworks store is where I left my ID. I've been trying to figure out where my ID is for a couple weeks now. I didn't think of the fireworks store because they probably ID you, don't they? I I don't know.

I would assume so. But anyway, I've I've got all these leftover fireworks, and I was trying to figure out something good to do with them. There was a guy in Florida, and he just drove around and was blasting uh blasting bottle rockets out his window to get rid of his old fireworks.

Speaker 2: Sounds sounds like a great idea in our burn ban that's going on. Yeah, you know, just drive out in a dry field. Do that, Robert.

Speaker 1: It is kind of hilarious how they implemented a burn ban like two days after the 4th of July.

Speaker 2: You've got to blow stuff up. It can't be like Utah.

Speaker 1: I know Utah just shutting it all down. Utah hates America. I read that online plenty. So yeah, you know, I obviously wouldn't have any kind of fireworks like this guy, you know, bottle rockets or anything that would uh be aerial or against the rules. But even um on July 3rd, I was lighting off fireworks. It hit midnight, so it was the fifth officially the 4th of July. Um one of my neighbors was very unhappy that I kept setting off fireworks after midnight.

Did you go knock on their door? Give me my credit card back! I need fireworks at midnight. I need to buy more fireworks. My name's Robert!

I know that's Robert in there. I think I set one off at about 1 a.m. that was really loud.

And then from somewhere. You're a terrible neighbor. From somewhere I heard a neighbor, shut it down. I couldn't tell which house it was. I'm guessing with the force of the anger, it wasn't one of my older neighbors. Because then it would have been more, hey, shut it down out there. Maybe it brought back some of their youth. Who doesn't like fireworks? I guess a lot of people don't. No, you're trying to sleep. I can sleep through anything, dude.

Speaker 2: Well, you can't, you can't sleep at all.

Speaker 1: Well, I listen, I can't be fat and old. I can't sleep no more.

Speaker 1: I can't get to sleep. But once I'm asleep, I'm out. I'm out and dreaming, and who knows what kind of horror.

Speaker 2: You just gotta go for a walk first and fight a bum, and then you can go right to sleep.

Speaker 1: Maybe I should start taking a nice stroll around the neighborhood. I mean, it's really nice out at about 7 p.m. right now. It's just beautiful temperature. Oh, jeez. Well, if uh anybody has uh well, did you catch? I guess we probably don't want to give out their name. No. But Robert, someone looking for you. Give them back the credit card.

Speaker 2: The other there was a dude and a chick. And the dude apparently was named Robert, and they were looking for a Robert.

Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't catch that the dude's name was Robert.

Speaker 2: I'm Robert, you're a Robert. Give me my cracker.

Speaker 1: I'm like, I am not Robert. Okay.

Speaker 2: Go away. Robert's a stupid name. Isn't that right? Robert. Where? I don't see him. Do you know there's a Robert listening to us right now? You're like, why is he Robert?

Speaker 1: There's gotta be at least one, all right? Because it's such a generic stupid name. It's not as bad as Cletus, though. Cletus is just the worst.

Speaker 2: Cletus is great.

Speaker 1: What are you how do how can you say it's great?

Speaker 2: Because Cletus actually sounds fun. Robert does not sound fun.

Speaker 1: But you know you're gonna end up hooked on meth and no teeth if your name is Cletus.

Speaker 2: That's a good story, I guess.

Speaker 1: Well, I want to talk about a very important subject, and that would be explosive diarrhea. We've talked about this a little bit in recent weeks or the last month or two, but explosive diarrhea. It's becoming a major problem across the country due to this foodborne infection called cyclosporiasis.

I think that's how you say it. Cyclosporiasis. It's basically uh parasite that leads to stomach problems, including intense diarrhea.

And uh, if I recall correctly, it's horrific diarrhea that can just kill you dead. So it's spreading across the country. There have been about 4,000 cases reported nationwide. Uh Michigan is ground zero for explosive parasite diarrhea with 3,762 cases to date. But they found it in uh, I think pretty much every state, aside from like North Dakota.

Idaho, I read had one, and it was, I believe, from a guy in Boise, and he had traveled out of state. So right now, might not be the best time to go out of state because people are filthy and they don't wash their hands. All right, wash your freaking hands. Do we need to get the hand sanitizer out again? Do we need to all be packing that in our vehicles? Because I've had an orovirus.

I know that sucked. Foodborne illness is not good. All right, wash your hands. And if you're gonna go on vacation, I would avoid obviously Michigan.

Don't go anywhere near there. But Ohio's pretty bad. Uh, New York, North Carolina, Illinois. And then he got, I mean, Colorado's not looking very good, and that's pretty close to us.

Washington and Oregon picking up in numbers as well. Keep your explosive diarrhea, you know, bacteria away from me. All right, wash your hands. Okay. I'm telling you, if you've ever had actual food poisoning, you know how much it sucks.

All right. A lot of people will think they have food poisoning. Like, oh, I ate like an hour ago and my tummy hurts. You'll know when you have food poisoning. Uh, it takes a little bit to kick in, and then, oh man, you like puking? Yeah, let's have a puke party.

All right. It'd be worse if it's uh you know explosive diarrhea as well. So just be aware of cyclosporiasis, wash your hands, people, okay, and just stay home. Don't go to the eastern part of the country. It's turning into diarrhoea central. Hey, beaches, what was happening, fool?

Speaker 2: I feel like I just confused the crap out of you off the air just before we hopped on here.

Speaker 1: You did. I'm like, uh, hmm. I don't get it.

Speaker 2: Next week is looking rather hectic when it comes to interviews and different people coming and going out of the studio and all of that.

Speaker 1: Um now you've got what what do you got lined up for interviews next week?

Speaker 2: Well, tomorrow I have an interview during your show. I remember that. Jacob Brand Jacob Bannon? Is it Bannon or Brandon? Of Converge. Cool. Maybe I'll figure out his last name before the interview starts. All right. Um, and then next week, I'm very excited for this one. I got the, I think I have the singer of Siamese. Cool. Via Zoom.

Speaker 1: Very nice. Very nice. Yeah, I know there's uh variety of crap coming up that uh needs to be dealt with.

Speaker 2: And then next week we potentially have a record rep showing up.

Speaker 1: We have Yeah, I gotta make some phone calls on that too.

Speaker 2: A show in Pocatello, of course. Papa Roach. We can hopefully have Papa Roach, not a Papa Roach, uh Autumn Kings stop by the studio.

Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta get that figured out too. Because, you know, again, a couple hours out of their way. I don't know. We might be doing chats in pokey. I don't I wouldn't care.

We'll see. It'd be fun to talk to those guys again. Yeah, yeah, it'd be great. I mean, uh again, need to make phone calls. Yeah, come on. The plan of action.

Speaker 2: As the program director for K-Bare 101, you gotta be ahead. Head of the curve. I'm I'm working on stuff.

Speaker 1: So breaking your wrist. I know. I'm gonna break it again. No, that's okay. It wasn't very pleasant. I don't want to break it again.

Speaker 2: I had to uh, you know, look like a fool walking around the green belt when I stepped into that hole and sprained my ankle. Oh, yeah. And I went, ah, as loud as possible. Nice. Yeah. Luckily, nobody was around.

Speaker 1: Well, keep an eye out for big elf swearing on the green belt.

Speaker 2: Yeah, listening to sad music.

Speaker 1: And if you if you hear and see that, it's Peaches. Go take a selfie. Thanks, but no thanks, Peaches. On the gray shirt thing. I uh showed up to work today, everybody, and I decided, all right, I'm gonna go use the restroom. It's bright in the restroom, it's dark in here. Like you probably can't see the big huge stain right in the center of my chest.

Speaker 2: No, you can't. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1: I look disgusting. I look like a pig. And there's supposed to be you know, people coming by today. It's a busy day. People coming by. People coming by.

Speaker 2: You know they stare at us from outside the studio like we're a bunch of uh zoo animals.

Speaker 1: I know. They call it the fishbowl when you got a radio studio with windows in it.

Speaker 2: The In N Out Kitchen was just like that.

Speaker 1: Ah, who wants to watch people? Well, maybe it's good to be able to watch people make your food.

Speaker 2: I was gonna say, you don't want to see me like wipe myself with a bun and then put it on your burger.

Speaker 1: Yeah, keep those windows on the drive-thru and food area. Um, but yeah, so I went and I asked Justin, like, do you have an outlaw shirt? No. Went and checked Z studio. Do you got a Z shirt for a fat guy like me? No, so I gotta see if we got a cannonball shirt. Because I think all the classy shirts are uh gray too. Who on earth makes these decisions? Is there a person on the planet who likes a gray t-shirt? I don't know anybody.

Speaker 2: I can't think of one. Even as a guy who's becoming a fan of Millennial Gray, I don't like the gray shirts, you know.

Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got I think one gray t-shirt. It's a Super Mario Bros shirt. And I like it. It's comfortable, but I don't wear it because it's gray. Well, the worst part of an idiot. I it's one of them lounge around the house shirts.

Speaker 2: The worst part about a gray t-shirt is that if you sweat like it you're going to outside, especially when it's hot out like this, um, it's gonna be it's gonna be shown completely. Like if you get a stain on that shirt, it's gonna be very visible. It's gonna look like this. Yeah, it's gonna look like that.

Speaker 1: It's gonna look like my nine-inch nail shirt that's just got a big fat stain, and then there's other little stains on it. I don't know if it's grease or what.

Speaker 2: What happened? What would you do?

Speaker 1: I it came out of my closet. It was clean clothes, so I think the shirt's ruined, is what I think's going on. That's terrible. Who knows? I yeah, just rubbed beef grease all over my belly. I'm eating a burger, like, oh yeah, it's so good. Just get that grease all over my hands and just rub my belly.

Speaker 2: You you've taken a big deep dive into those people that are like rub yourself with beef tallow that's gonna help with your immune system.

Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to figure out good ways to, you know, not only my clothing, but keep my skin nice and soft and glistening. And instead of using the the tan oil that, you know, turns your skin dark, I just make mine shimmer. Have you seen beef grease?

Speaker 2: The clip of that one dude. He's like that kind of guy that look would legitimately unironically like wipe himself down with beef grease, but he's like, I don't follow the air the airport rules. Um we're not allowed to bring more than three ounces of water onto the plane, but here's my hack. I bring 10 coconuts in my bag, and he no joke opens his bag, 10 coconuts all in there.

He's like, these things are full of water that has tons of minerals in them. And I was watching Tom Segura uh make fun of that clip, and he was talking about like, how do you open them on the plane? Like, do you just stab it open? Like, do you have a knife with you? Like what do you mean? Because you can't just put a straw through a coconut.

Speaker 1: No, and you can't bring like a pocket knife with a built-in drill or something. Right. And coconuts are a pain to open. I've tried to open one before. It sucks.

Speaker 2: Yeah, they're extremely hard. They can kill you if they fall out of the tree and land on your head.

Speaker 1: And how much does the average coconut cost? Couple bucks.

Speaker 2: Way more expensive than a water bottle.

Speaker 1: Even at airport prices. Yeah. You know, if you walk into the airport and buy an overpriced bottle of water, it's gonna be cheaper than all those coconuts. And then you can refill it. And when you're on the plane, there's a button over your head that's got the shape of a person.

And you push it, and they'll walk over to you and be like, hi, how can I help you? And you go, a thirsty! I'm so thirsty. They'll get you a drink. It's called a flight attendant.

Speaker 2: I was just reading this story about the guy that got arrested for stealing stuff from the snack cart. When the plane landed, they arrested him.

Speaker 1: Sir, we know you've got one biscoff cookie and maybe some pretzels in your pocket.

Speaker 2: We saw you steal that snack bag of cheeses. You're going down, old man.

Speaker 1: Wow. Uh yeah, you should be able to just kind of have a free-for-all when it comes to planes. Like when you order a soda, makes me crazy. And they give you that little tiny plastic cup that they fill all the way up with ice and give you like a third of a can. You're like, Just leave.

Speaker 2: Nothing scares me more than when the flight is taking off. There's a bit of turbulence, and then there's that one jerk that decides to stand up and then walk like with with these elephant feet down the aisle. Like it says you're supposed to stay in your seat. And especially when it's like a big fat person and they're walking, you know, stomping down the aisle, they're shaking the whole plane.

And I'm bracing for dear life. Like, please stop shaking the plane. I don't I don't ever get up on a flight.

Ever. Because I'm I'm afraid I'm gonna be the one shaking the plane. There I actually there was one time I had to get up to go use the restroom, and the flight attendant laughed at me trying to fit into the bathroom. Because I had to duck and do one shoulder first and then the other shoulder, and then kind of like come out afterwards, like the hunchback of Notre Dame.

Speaker 1: Well, dude, even me getting into those airport bathrooms. It sucks. They they they couldn't be any smaller.

Speaker 2: Well, the worst is when you try when you get on the plane, too. The flight attendant's like, whoa, look at the size of this guy. Watch your head. They try telling you like it's a it's a joke, like, yeah, no kidding. I'm like, I was just gonna bang my head on the top of the plane, you know, walk right in. Boom.

Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to see you get arrested, but it would be hilarious mid-flight if you were to stand up and just start jumping up and down and trying to shake the plane with your lane. I mean, I have a feeling he'd get arrested.

Speaker 2: You just hear me go, Peaches, and I'm jumping peaches.

Speaker 1: Just dart jumping up and down.

Speaker 2: Oh, even put water wings on too, and you just started running around.

Speaker 1: You get you know, tackled to the floor.

Speaker 2: Who's gonna tackle me? Some dainty little flight attendant that's like Kennedy's size.

Speaker 1: Don't they usually have like some undercover marshal or something hiding out in the middle?

Speaker 2: No, I'm doing what? Yeah, he's in the overhead bin. He just pops out.

Speaker 1: Let's see what this person wants. They better be on topic. K-bear, you're live on the show. Keep that in mind. Who's this? Victor!

Speaker 3: Good morning. It's me again.

Speaker 1: It's the redneck. What's up, dude?

Speaker 3: So I'm picturing peaches on a plane. And the only thing I have in comparison is I don't know if you guys know who Eddie Hall and Brian Shaw are. Eddie Hall.

Speaker 2: Yeah, the real strongest menu. Yeah, they're huge. Yeah, you've got to look up pictures of them too on a plane. It is priceless. All right.

Speaker 2: Brian Shaw's about like 6'8, like 400 pounds. He's a huge, huge guy. Eddie Hall's about 6'2 with 350. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1: Right at the time of this picture, they were bolt over.

Speaker 2: There is a hilarious video right next right up. Them trying to get on the plane.

Speaker 1: I see the video or a picture of them sitting side by side. Yeah.

Speaker 2: It doesn't look very comfortable. I feel bad for the random customer that's also a part of that row, I think.

Speaker 1: Uh this one they're in too.

Speaker 3: Oh, it's a three-person row. They're in that picture. Uh Brian, I think, was at his biggest, which was 450. And I think Eddie was at his biggest at 400. Jeez. Yeah. Just massive man. All right.

Speaker 1: I guess I won't complain too much about being uncomfortable in the seats anytime soon.

Speaker 3: Appreciate it. Yeah, I heard that. I'm like, oh, I've got to tell, I've got to tell you guys that. You guys have a good day. Hey, you two man, peace.

Speaker 2: But at least I'm doing like other fly like passengers a favor by losing weight.

Speaker 1: That's true. That's true, Peaches. You're doing some good work there on that, buddy.

Speaker 2: Nicely done. 45 pounds down. Wow. Keeping it going.

Speaker 1: That is impressive.

Speaker 2: I weighed myself this past Sunday. It said 356, and I was mad at myself. I'm like, that's barely anything. That's like a pound for the week. What am I doing? And then I fell back asleep for another two hours, then woke up and waved myself again. 354. Okay.

Speaker 1: That's how I'm gonna lose weight.

Speaker 2: Heck yeah. Sleep. Starve yourself. I did puke in my lunch break yesterday, so there's that.

Speaker 1: Oh, great. Peaches, you're doing fantastic.

Speaker 2: I'm cutting weight.

Speaker 1: Well, Peaches, that was a show, wasn't it? Sure. I mean, it was. It was a show. Technically. Good for you. Good for me. Um, as we wrap up here, you know, I was getting desperate for content. It's the end of the show, so I started looking at the Am I the Jerk subreddit.

Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you said you were gonna look at the unpopular opinion subreddit. That's my favorite one. I figured we'd save that for noon. Oh, sure.

Speaker 1: Or else the advice subreddit. One post on here was a guy asking if he was a jerk for not asking permission to uh take his girlfriend on vacation, not asking her parents. How old are they? Twenty-two years old. They're fine. Yeah, exactly. Sorry, parents, but when your kids reach 18, they're adults.

I mean, I don't even know if she lives at home or anything like that, but still, if you're 22, you can take a vacation. All right. Don't let your parents walk all over you.

Speaker 2: That's when you look at the girlfriend's parents in the eye and you go, I'm gonna watch your daughter on the beach.

Speaker 1: We're going to the nude beach. I just want to take some pictures. We're going to France to the new beach.

Speaker 2: Can I read something about how like a nudest beach spot? There was this old couple. Of course, why are they always old at a nude beach? I don't know. I don't know. But there was this old couple completely nude at what was supposed to be like a nude area, but they got arrested because there was like some weird state park deal that happened. I don't know what the I didn't read the full story, I just saw the headline. Hmm.

Speaker 1: I guess if you're going to go to the beach nude, make sure you're at the right beach.

Speaker 2: My grandpa did take my dad and his brothers all to the uh the beach. And then when they went hiking. Uh-huh. They went hiking, and then so they go to the the beach finally.

They get to reach their destination. My grandpa didn't realize it was a nude beach. And so everybody just naked right in front of them. He's like, get back in the car now.

Speaker 1: And they're like, no. He blocks all this like my dad's eyes. And my dad's like 10 years old. He's like, no, I want to see this. My grandpa, that deep Celeste Salomos get back in the car. Oh, geez.

Yeah, uh, Peaches. I reckon I've never been to a nude beach. I've just been to Please don't participate. Nude resort. But they are full of old people. That's for sure.

Speaker 2: It's people you never want to see naked. I know, I was one of them. Every dude in the men's locker room at every gym in America, they're just gonna be naked for no every old guy. You notice how like all of us of us young dudes keep our clothes on. Then you see that one guy whacking himself with a towel, and he's just butt naked. You see the raisins, you're like, dude, get this out of my face.

Speaker 1: I think you reach a certain age where you're like, eh, I don't care anymore. Off come the clothes.

Speaker 2: Jade's getting close to that age. We better not see him naked walking around the office.

Speaker 1: I know he's already getting bad enough with the hoochie daddy shorts.

Speaker 2: See? Yeah, he's he's approaching.

Speaker 1: Pretty soon. Pretty soon. The coat the clothes are getting skimpier. I wouldn't have thought Jade would be getting skimpier clothes as he got older, because if you've seen him as a teenager in those emo clothes, you know, basically a cutoff shirt and girl pants.

Speaker 2: I just had my focus meeting with him, and I was like, dude, if you yell at me, I can't take you seriously because you I just imagine you and Daisy Dukes with a braided beard. Just posing for the camera. Is this the shot?

Speaker 1: Now we need to have a serious discussion about work.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't care if I'm slacking. You get to put some clothes on.

Speaker 1: Thank you again for tuning in to the Victor Wilch Show. This program's a production of River Bend Media Group. To contact the show or for more information, hit us up at Riverbend Media Group.com.