The Viktor Wilt Show

Well, hello. Welcome to the Victor Wilt Show, Monday edition. I hope you're well. Man, I tell ya, I just cannot win when it comes to going to bed on a Sunday night. This weekend had a lot of pet-induced mayhem that made me a little bit crazy. And I thought by last night things were looking good. You know, let's go to bed early, be well-rested for Monday. Pretty great when I can actually be laying in bed a little after 8:00. You know, it takes me a little while to fall asleep. But getting to sleep by, say, 9:00, not too shabby. So, I'm out. It had been a very long, very draining weekend,

but things were looking great for this morning, till about 10:30 PM when, for whatever reason, one of my cats, Koopa, who I'm sure you've heard about over the years, he decided he wanted to lay in the bed. All right? N- no big deal. I didn't know this was happening at the time. I found out at about 10:30 when I woke up to him right by my head growling, making the horrible cat sound, you know [growling] [beep].

Well, one of the other cats, Jess, who for whatever reason, these two, they just haven't figured out how to get along yet. She had jumped up on the bed and then decided to leap toward him. So, ungodly cat fight breaks out in the middle of the bed,

wakes me and Becca up. She's, you know, like jolted awake, so she ends up leaving the room, gonna go watch some TV for a few or something. I'm laying in bed like, "Ugh." You know, I was doing so good on sleeping. Eh, I just continue laying there for a few and

next thing I know, Lucy, who was laying on the little cat bed to the left of me, just starts [retching]

the, the cat gonna puke sound. I'm like, "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." So I jump out of bed to try to grab her and get her out of the room as fast as possible before she, you know, pukes on whatever. Well, I failed. I failed to get her out of the room

at a proper rate, and I should've just let her puke. I should've just let her puke where she was because since I was carrying her, she projectile vomited

just across the room, just across the room. It's 10:30 PM, all right?

And now I am just furious, furious with the cats. And I get out of bed and I'm stomping around [laughs] uh, saying some words I can't say on the radio. Becca's in the living room and she thinks I'm like throwing a, a tantrum because she won't come back to bed. No. I'm throwing a tantrum 'cause there's cat puke everywhere, and all I wanted to do in, in life was sleep. Just come into here well-rested to give you a good show. So,

uh, bust out the paper towels to get the big chunks that I can get with paper towel, then I'm scrubbing the floor, scrubbing the cat bed, scrubbing the, uh, I, I have this like antique-looking bench thing that I got at the thrift store sitting there, scrubbing that. And then Becca has this mirror that we've been trying to figure out a place to hang it, and it's got all these like, you know, wood carvings around the edge. Yeah, the puke had gotten on the mirror, ran down it, and into all the cracks. I, I know it might be a little early to talk about puke, but this is the last thing I dealt with prior to being awake this morning. So, I have to take the mirror and, you know, I'm, I'm washing it in the kitchen, just grumbling and swearing and stomping around [laughs].

Finally get all the, uh, the cat puke cleaned up and by this point, you know, it's getting on to being, I don't know, 11:15. There, I mean, there was puke everywhere. Everywhere. And now I'm frazzled, like completely frazzled, wide awake. Like, I need to go to bed and I don't know what time I got to sleep. I don't know exactly what time I got to sleep, but I was, uh, just completely

... just in a complete state of disaster. Get to sleep,

alarm starts going off this morning. I'm, I'm mad again just 'cause didn't get the sleep I wanted last night. Get all ready and of course can't find the keys to my truck, which are also the keys I use to get into this building. I'm looking everywhere, just ripping the house apart. Where are my keys? I'm gonna destroy some ... Where are my keys? Apparently, I was so happy when I got home last night, we'll, we'll, we'll get into the long weekend later on the show, but when we finally got home yesterday afternoon, after ... But I wanted to be home

since Saturday morning. From Saturday morning [laughs] till the time we got home yester- at yesterday afternoon, the only place I wanted to be was home. Finally get home, apparently I was so happy I just shut that door and, uh, left my keys in the front door. It occurred to me that might be a possibility. Finally found them in my front door after I had locked it before bed from the inside.[heavy metal music] So, few minutes late today due to no keys, but I'm here. I'm awake, and w- we'll get through this week somehow. Just gotta take a deep breath, and, uh... But I swear, if there's any aggravation that comes my way this week, I might just blow my stack. Ugh. Hope your, uh, last, mm, 48 to 72 hours was a little bit less stressful, uh, than mine were. Yeah, I'm supposed to go in and get, you know, an annual checkup this week, and I'm like, "What's my blood pressure gonna look like?" And I,

I... If I- If I'm feeling this way, it's not gonna be good. So, then I'm stressing about that too, like, "Oh, the doctor's gonna be like, 'Oh, something's wrong with you.'" Or maybe something is wrong with me. I don't know.

So, that's just one part of, uh, my weekend of not enough rest and pet-induced stress. We'll get into, uh, more of that throughout the show.

Hopefully, it gives y'all a good laugh, and hopefully you're having a good morning so far. I- I'm... Again, I'm not, like, doing terrible or anything but... I don't know. Some- something gotta change. I need to get more rest,

and the, the pets need to chill it out. I ain't gonna put up with this crap anymore.

Definitely gonna be nap time after work today. I'm gonna lock my door, and if anybody shows up at my door, they better get. They better get [laughs] quick. Not... I've had enough people, that's for sure. Enough people. All right.

We're gonna be back with more music here in a minute. I hope you're doing good. I'm going to try to find something to talk about to take my mind off of, uh,

again, the last, uh, 72 hours or so, of, uh, uh, I don't know, the weekend's just not, not long enough. And I, I really could've used a Monday off. Why can't today be a holiday? Is it a holiday? Probably a stupid one. [heavy metal music] It is Monday, and I hope you're doing decent. Hope you're aight. So, Stewart sent me something that, with the upcoming Christmas holiday on the way, I figured I would play for you. Maybe you have some friends that you don't like. I don't know why you'd have friends that you don't like, but maybe you got some friends that you don't like, or just people you don't like in general. And this is a video called What To Get People You Don't Like For Christmas. Uh, apparently, Stewart wanted me to think about, you know, traumatizing events from my life as I started my Monday. So, just wanna let you know about something in advance you could do if you really wanna torture somebody else in a, you know, pretty much harmless way, but it might leave, again, lasting trauma. So, j- just, just be aware. Do not get this gift for anyone in your household. Check out this video of, uh, this woman talking about a product that we once sampled on the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem.

New series entitled What To Get People You Don't Like For Christmas. Top of the list is surströmming, [laughs] and I fell victim to that tonight. So, I'm gonna tell you all about it. Surströmming might look nice, but i- in the inside, it's horrific. And it's the gift that keeps on giving, because it is fermented fish that they suggest that you open outside under a deep can of water, because that's how horrific the smell is. They've also banned it on planes. And the thing that really gets you is that it's the gift that keeps on giving because once you open it, your entire house will smell like s- rotten fish, [laughs] and you can't get the smell out of your nose. And as a nurse, it is the most horrific thing I've ever smelled, and so you know it's gotta be pretty bad. And then when you try to take it outside of your house and put it in the trashcan, and you're already traumatized by it, guess what? It will leak through the bags, and you will continue to smell rotten, decaying fish on the outside of your house. It was so bad, in fact, that we strapped it to the outside of our car and drove it 10 miles away while still gagging, 'cause we could still smell it on the inside of the car. If you look up surströmming on the internet, it will say that it's the most putrid smell in the world, and I can testify to that. Our entire house still smells like rotten fish. I'm not sure if it's just trapped in my nose or anywhere on my body, or anywhere. The can opener that I used to open the surströmming with still smells like rotten fish after I've washed it five times. So, I think I'm gonna throw it away. It smelled so horrific that the flies evacuated our house. So anyways, number one on the list, surströmming. Just tell people it's a Swedish delicacy. Welcome to my n-

Yeah. Yeah, i- people eat it in other countries. You know, I- I've got a little bit of, uh, Swedish blood in me, I think. I- I have yet to get around to

doing the ancestry kit my sister gave me, uh, last Christmas, as a matter of fact. Maybe one of these days I will. But yeah, apparently, that part of my bloodline not strong enough for me to be able to tolerate that stuff. Um, it was the worst thing we ever sampled on the Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem. And we put it in the dumpster in the parking lot, which if, if you've ever been here, y- uh, the Dumpster's a long ways away from the building, okay? We had it in a bag in the dumpster, which is, uh, you know, halfway through the entire, uh, little plaza here. You could smell it when you walked outside in front of the building. And we opened it just like that woman said, in a can of water, 'cause the s- the smell is so bad. I- i- if you open it indoors, uh, she must, must just be suffering, 'cause we opened it outside. We didn't even bring it in the building. And i- ugh. Somewhere on Facebook, there is video of Jade, Brad, and myself trying this stuff.

The worst gift you could possibly give anyone, a can of surströmming, and yeah, thanks Stewart. Thanks, bro.[heavy metal music] It's what I wanted to think about this morning. You heard my first break, talking about a bunch of vomit. Um, today's show is I... It's probably gonna be filled with me complaining about everything. [laughs] I'm, I'm, again, better than expected after the unexpected. We had a two hours of not getting sleep last night, thanks to cat vomit and cat fighting. And now I've got Surstromming on the brain. Guess I ain't having breakfast. I hope you've never smelled this stuff, 'cause o- otherwise I just ruined your breakfast as well. Horrible. Horrible, traumatizing, only get it for people you absolutely despise.

All right, it's seven o'clock. I got new Bad Omens coming up. I got, uh, uh, I don't know what else, but I got stuff. [instrumental music plays] All right. That, that helped a little bit, I think. Actually, I believe it was last week that we read that, you know, if you're, you're feeling stressed [laughs] or frustrated, that engaging in activities that, uh, kinda adds to that is not the way to deal with your stress. So, maybe listening to Whitechapel just scream and yell, maybe that wasn't the best thing. I don't know. I'm, I'm working on shaking it today. It was just, ugh,

that 10:30 PM cat mayhem, which if you missed the details on, go back and listen to the on-demand version of this show, or maybe I'll talk about it again later. I'm sure Jade would enjoy hearing about it, 'cause anything that causes me, uh, frustration, he likes to laugh at those kinda things. So,

I'll probably repeat the

attempt to go to bed last night story here later on the show. Yeah, the, the weekend in general was just a little bit rough.

Gotta tell you, if, if you're gonna do a, a big somewhat stressful activity, like say, assist in throwing a children's birthday party, don't make plans to go out of town the next day. I'll get into some of the stuff involving children's birthday party that led to Friday night stress [laughs] later on the show. But Saturday, we'd been planning for months to go see the band Thrice, all right? Should be a fun time, get out of town, go to Salt Lake. And Friday night, during that birthday party, I booked a nonrefundable hotel room. Finally got around to, it was like, "All right, I think we're gonna be good to go." 'Cause everything was looking pretty decent at that point to, you know, get a good night's rest, be able to get up early, and then go to Salt Lake. Well, good night's rest did not end up happening, 'cause it's a children birthday party, right? Uh, again, we'll get into other pet-induced mayhem that occurred Friday night, but

needless to say, we did not get to bed early as we should have, all right? Which was fine. Kids were having fun. We probably would've got to bed earlier if there were not a mm-hmm, I'm gonna say a- at least two-hour delay in the middle of the evening. But we get up Saturday, and I am not wanting to go to Salt Lake. I was very tired, did not get the amount of sleep I wanted [laughs]. Did not wanna go to Salt Lake, but I didn't wanna let my lady down. So I'm like, "Okay, just gonna power through. We're gonna do this. We'll do the three-hour drive.

We'll go hang out with Jade and his wife. We'll go to a show. It'll be fun." And I'm trying to tell myself all day, "It'll be fun." Powered through, it was a... Have, have you ever driven three hours when you're tired to begin with? How about three hours when, at that point you're like, "I don't care about this show. I don't wanna go." Went through the drive, made it, get to the hotel, and it's like, "Oh, I just wanna stay in this room. I don't even wanna be in Salt Lake." I'm rolling into town going, "This town's a dump!" We rolled past all these factories and things. I don't know, GPS took us in on one of the very first exits, so we had to drive past a million stank factories. It was all disgusting. They had the inversion going on. It's like, "This town sucks." Get to the hotel like, "I, I don't wanna do anything." But we, we kept pushing through. "All right, let's go out. Let's have some German food with Jade and Jess." The meal was good. The meal was good, and we, you know, got some shopping done at the German deli while we were there. All right, time to go to Thrice. Still not wanting to go to the show, like... But hey, you know, I gotta be tough. You know, I don't wanna ruin my lady's evening. We get to the show and, like, both of us are... We're just like, "Uh, n- no.

No. Can't do it. Can't do it." Like I said earlier, I've had enough people at this point [laughs]. Um, so we just left. We just left, went back to the room. Started watching some TV, fell asleep pretty early, pretty early. Woke up in the middle of the night, watched a movie. Went back to sleep, and then you gotta do the three-hour drive home.

Ugh! And we're talking about it on the way home, and I'm like, "Yeah, I didn't wanna go to the show. I didn't wanna go to Salt Lake." She's like, "Yeah, me either [laughs], but I didn't wanna let you down." It's like, "Huh? Aah!" We could've just, just ate the hotel room. Been like, "Okay, screw it." You know? We'll just e- eat that money. It's nonrefundable, but whatever. It would've been cheaper than taking the trip, 'cause you got gas you gotta worry about, food, and whatever else.

[rock music] But both of us didn't wanna let the other person down, so we both powered through a trip to Salt Lake that neither of us wanted to do, and we didn't have to do. [laughs] So, you've, you've heard about my, uh, frustrations from last night. That, that was Saturday, and we'll get into what happened on, uh, Friday night that aggravated me here in a bit. I'm n- I swear I'm gonna try to not just complain the whole show. But right now, yeah, I am just done.

I just wanna hide, hide in my house, be away from people. No more people. But I'm at work where there's people, so

I will endure people today. Nobody better give me no grief. Okay? This boy needs some rest. All right, I'm gonna take a deep breath. [rock music] And it is Monday. Ugh! Hope your weekend went good. Not nearly long enough. It never is, but this one, man. Brutal. Brutal.

All right, let's do some cue the outrage action. Looks like Wheel of Fortune has launched a new category on their show, and you got a bunch of people very upset about it. It's a category called What the Fun? Yeah, WTF. And people are furious. How dare Wheel of Fortune have a category called WTF? Can people just settle down, all right?

It's What the Fun? All right? What else could it possibly mean, huh? [laughs] Oh no,

that's insinuated profanity and we just can't take it. Oh!

It, it just blows my mind the people who are offended by, like, something like that.

When you could turn on the news and just see horrific things. Like scroll through any social media feed, pick any platform. It doesn't matter which one. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Threads, Twitter, Reddit, you start scrolling you're gonna see some crazy, crazy stuff. Um, come on. I wonder what they, what they put in the category, really. [laughs] It would be fun if it was, like, actually offensive material. I mean, I, I haven't seen any examples of what type of things they'd use for that kind of puzzle. 'Cause, you know, they'll do, like, b- before and after or geography or whatever. Is it just fun stuff? I mean, profanity is fun if used properly, okay? Long as you're not using it to harm other people, it can be fun. And, you know, I was talking about stress relief earlier on the show. I do believe that we've read many a time about studies on this program and, like, the noon hour that show that, you know, profanity

a-assists you in releasing stress from your body. You know? It's got healing properties. They did these tests where people would put their hand in a bucket of freezing water and, you know, try just sitting there, see how long they could hold their hand in the water. And then, you know, do the same test, but you sit there and just start screaming profanity. Wheel of Fortune is trying to heal people, even though they're just saying the word fun, but some people get offended by everything. It's just how it is. It's just how it is. Boy, gotta tell you, I cannot wait for the upcoming mayoral race to be over with, 'cause geez, the endless posts popping up from Life in Pocatello and Life in Idaho Falls with people screaming at each other about, you know, mayoral candidates. Ugh! So exhausting.

We should do all elections, like, every, you know, four years and just do them all at once so we all don't have to sit through this constantly. Exhausting. [rock music] No. [laughs] No more nights out with my friends. Wanna hide from people. [laughs] No, I had a good time hanging out with Jade and Jess. It was a, it was a good, good time having dinner

Saturday night, but

I just don't wanna see any people. Gotta have the Monday morning meeting, too. I'm like, "Ugh! Can I just hide in my office and try to get the work done that Jade keeps giving me grief for not having done?" I shouldn't even think about that right now. Okay. Oh yeah, I wish I was just kicked back at home engaging in my hobbies. I just stumbled across a post, "What is a hobby you no longer enjoy?" And then that frustrates me. Start thinking about my hobbies, the things I'd like to be doing that I

just don't do. And why? I don't know. I don't know. Just tend to get, uh, little too disheveled and I'm like, "I don't wanna play video games, meh!

I don't wanna play guitar, meh!" Or then there's my computer that is just broken, and I would love to be able to do some, you know, online streaming, have some fun. And it's selective with ho- with how it works. Sometimes I fire it up, works just great. Then when I really need it... All right. Let's see what hobbies people are no longer enjoying, 'cause maybe they just weren't good hobbies. Hobbies are good to have. All right?[rock music] Kicking back, reading books. That's a hobby, and it's good for your mind. Have I been doing that? No. No. Doing everything I can to not relax, apparently. Just dealing with cat vomit and pet mayhem.

Let's see. This person says they used to have fun searching for vinyl records in the hidden gems bins at the thrift store. Well, it sucks that you don't enjoy that. Um, [laughs] maybe it's because the thrift store, you know, it's got a bunch of people, and you don't wanna be around anyone. You've had enough people. [laughs] Gotta find yourself a hobby that doesn't involve being in public. There you go. This person used to enjoy card collecting. They would grab a little $5 pack next to the register for fun, admire the art, put it with the rest. Oh, oh, so now they're... Yeah, it's because you have to wake up and wait in line for the store to open. Card collecting's gotten weird. I didn't realize Pokemon was still such a big thing till Nate Eaton from East Idaho News posted pictures of people hanging outside of Target at about, you know, this time of day or earlier. Might've been 6:00 in the morning. Just standing out in the cold, waiting to get in and buy some cards. I would assume it's a reseller thing, right? People are slinging them on eBay. Man, I wish I had my, my daughter's little baseball card-type holder full of Pokemon cards from like 30 years ago. Bet they're worth some bank. They could be at my house. I thought she gave them to my kids, but that, that could be a false memory. Once you start getting old, you know, you think back 30 years ago or 20 years ago. Like, did that happen? I don't know. My brain's cooked. But see, this person used to enjoy going out and doing things. Now, they just wanna sit on the back porch with a fire, watch the sunset. Okay. Used to be quite the extrovert. I think that just kind of naturally starts happening as you get older. Like if, if you go out a lot when you're younger, it starts getting old, [laughs] you know? Maybe I'm just, you know, again, not feeling it with the whole people thing today. Just want some peace and quiet, and th- those cats better not do anything to aggravate me. Very frustrated with cats today. Very. But yeah, I think people in general, as you get older, it's like, "Yeah, my house is pretty chill. I got everything I need there. I can pick the music. I don't have to listen to the crappy tunes that, you know, most people are wanting to listen to. Don't have to deal with may- maybe the volume level being not what I prefer it to be at the moment." [laughs]

And I don't think that going out is a hobby.

Like, you know, again, card collecting is a hobby or crocheting, playing some Riffage. Maybe I need to play some Riffage. Maybe that would do me some good. Oh, this person says, "Standing at concerts." Now, I, I guess concerts could be a hobby. Depending on the night, I would prefer a seat. Like I'm pretty stoked that for the upcoming Trans-Siberian Orchestra show, it looks like I got some, some seats, that I can just sit, sit and enjoy the show. And since it's probably gonna be a show packed with like families and things like that, hopefully I won't have to worry about some big oaf standing the entire show in front of me. The last time I went to a show, well, that I had seat n- Well, no, I guess not. Last year, I went and saw a A Perfect Circle, Primus, and Puscifer at the Maverik Center in Salt Lake. Had seats, and these two maniacs in, in front of us stood up the entire show. It was a three-hour show with only one little intermission in the middle. The bands basically played nonstop 'cause they just switch bands like every few songs. It like, "Can you guys sit down for a second? Just sit. Who stands for three hours? Take a little break." You know, if you're walking, if you're in motion, that's a little bit different, but just standing and like, "Oh, I wanna sit." Yeah, I, I understand the wanting to sit at shows when you get older. I used to be all about open floor, pit tickets every time. Now, now sometimes I, I just want a seat. This person doesn't enjoy video games anymore. Probably got too much stress going on, too many distractions. Oh, geez. Speaking of which, I got distracted by this stupid thread. I need to figure out some freak news, so I better let go, and I'll be back in a minute with that. [rock music] Should we talk about the end of the world? Sure. It's Monday. It's as good a time as any to talk about the end of the world. Okay. You know this comet they've been talking about for like a month now, and you got this guy from Harvard who's like, "Well, it might be aliens. Might be a spaceship coming our way"? Well now, Elon Musk has chimed in, saying this mystery object, 31/ATLAS, could be alien and may obliterate a continent or kill most of human life.

Uh, most people think it's just a comet blasting through the solar system, but yeah, the, uh, UFO experts

coming out of the woodwork

to talk about how [laughs]

this, uh, alien mothership could be coming to destroy us all. You know, people got enough stress in the world. Could you guys calm down a little bit? We don't need to hear about the potential, uh, alien craft that's gonna obliterate a continent or wipe out all people, all right? Got enough problems to deal with. Grocery prices. Maybe you're not getting enough rest. You're just really sleepy.Just kind of exhausted. [laughs] Maybe you got a house you need to clean up 'cause the holidays are coming up? Okay, I'm gonna stop thinking about these things. Uh, anyway, we'll keep you posted on that. I thought the thing was supposed to already pass by Earth, like, two weeks ago. Why is this thing still in the news? Uh, speaking of humanity being wiped out, a new, uh, research paper has predicted that AI will go rogue in 2027 and lead to humanity's extinction within a decade. Apparently this, uh, paper making waves within the technology world. Uh, there's some video at the BBC about it, but I haven't watched it yet. So, I'm gonna check it out and we might come back to this later on the show. I have watched a variety of YouTube videos recently about AI wiping out humanity 'cause, you know, when I'm stressed out-

[rock music]

... I kinda like to watch things showing me how it could be worse. Like natural disaster videos and things like that. If I'm feeling a little bit rough, throw that on and be like, "See, it could be worse. Could be dealing with a tsunami or major earthquake or Yellowstone blowing up. You know, things aren't that bad. Settle down, dude." So yeah, we'll, we'll come back to that later. Okay, m- maybe we should get into something, like, sillier. I've just been ranting and raving all morning and grouchy. [laughs] It's the cats' fault! Stupid cats. We'll get into pet aggravation, uh, probably after the top of... Oh, it is after the top of the hour right now. I had a weekend of pet aggravation. And, uh, you know me, I like to dump all my stress onto you. It usually gives people a laugh, all right? I know Jade will, he's, he's heard one of the stories. He hasn't heard the cat one from last night. Cat vomit central. Ugh, stupid cats. Okay, um,

some guy apparently tried to sneak a number of heavily sedated parakeets in his pants across the US-Mexico border. I've crossed the US-Mexico border and

they take a pretty good look at what's going on. Okay? If you have a suspicious bulge in your pants, they're, they're probably going to pull you aside and see what's going on. And it, it is illegal, I believe, to bring wildlife across the border, along with all kinds of other things. You know, certain, uh, foods, plants, things like that. They're gonna check you out. I don't know, it's like the people who try to get away with putting a gun in their carry-on bag and get through airport security. You're not gonna succeed. Stop holding up the line for everybody else. Got this guy holding up the line with birds in his pants. Ugh, some people, tell you. Okay, I got plenty more to talk about on the show today. It's after 8:00 now. This next song hit number one on the rock radio charts on Friday. Congrats to Five Finger Death Punch and Babymetal. We'll play that and

then maybe I'll talk about, uh, Friday's pet aggravation. 'Cause it, it, it was a weekend of just bam, bam, bam! The whole last week

has kind of brutalized me. I hope your week was good. This week's gonna be great, right? It's gonna be, like, chill, relaxing, no stress. Yeah, d- don't come bother me, Jade. I'm not ready for that. [rock music] What up, Peaches?

Oh, nothing much.

D-

It's Monday.

Uh, yeah, it is. Yeah, it, uh, certainly feels like Monday as well. How was your weekend?

Went by too fast, but it was, it was good.

Glad it was good.

Yeah.

Mine, I'm, I'm not gonna say I had a bad weekend. I just had a stressful weekend. And I'm, the whole last week was a little bit stressful. Blood pressure was up, I could feel it. So, by Friday I was already pretty frazzled. I was just reading a minute ago that, uh, artificial Christmas trees are, you know, all the rage, much more popular. And I'm guessing-

Of course

... that's 'cause people don't wanna drag a bunch of bugs in their house, right?

Well, that and also, like, they, the, the real tree dies and it's, you're gonna watch it just die and then ornaments drop.

Yeah, it's a fire hazard. You know?

Your cat goes crazy about it.

But the main reason I wouldn't want one is 'cause I don't like bugs in my house, Peaches.

No kidding.

I'm not a fan of bugs in my house. So I have a story for you from the weekend, all right? I had a lot of pet-induced, uh, stress this weekend. And I'm gonna travel back in time to Friday. So, you know, Friday we had my girlfriend's daughter's birthday party.

Yeah?

And

I don't know if you've ever been to a kid's birthday party, but it's kinda stressful.

Hectic.

You know, you, you wanna make everything right and there's a bunch of screaming kids running around. And it's, you know, it's just mayhem. Okay? So, birthday party went fine. You know, e- everything went good. But there was a little bit of pet-induced stress that happened to me on Friday. [laughs] And I am not going to call out which one of Becca's brothers by name. But, all right, Peaches, if you're gonna get somebody a pet for their birthday, you should probably check with the parents first. Right?

No kidding.

[laughs] That's right. That's...

Don't you, when you get a pet for your birthday or, like, you, you have to... You're getting a new pet, you have to have them meet the owner?

Uh, maybe it depends what kind of pet. You know, if, if it's, like, a cat or dog, I'd say yes.

If it's a stupid one like a gerbil, I don't think so.

Okay. So, something like a lizard maybe. You know, if it's a little lizard, you, you, you, you probably don't need them to meet it first. That's fine.

[rock music] But you should still check with the parents first before [laughs] you decide I'm gonna buy a little gecko for little Emery for her birthday.[rock music] So-

But when you buy them a gecko, you have to also get them the cage-

Yes.

... lamp.

Yes, you do!

Decorations, food.

That's, that's right. [laughs] That is correct, Peaches. So, [laughs] Becca's unnamed brother shows up to the birthday party and he's got a little lizard with a cage. All right. All right. Fine. Fine.

We'll deal with this. All right. Birthday party goes on and on, you got screaming kids around and stuff. And I have never had a lizard. I don't know what you gotta do to take care of them, okay? You know me. I'm a cat guy. That's what I've had. Cats. I'm learning how to deal with a dog right now, and four cats. My house is a zoo.

Depending on the dog, they're pretty easy.

Mm, I don't know, Peaches.

Depending on the dog.

I mean, oh, Becca's dog is really good.

Like I said-

Really good

... Ro- Rover was the best, and we had that stupid dog, Daphne, it ruined everything.

Yeah. Becca's dog is really good, very well behaved. A little wild, but she's young, so you, you give her, give her a pass. You know, she likes to dig a bunch of holes in the yard and, you know... My house is gross right now 'cause all the animals hate each other, so I basically need to, uh, bring in carpet cleaners for every room of my house. It's gross. You know, it would... But anyway, back to Lizard. So, after the party, I'm like, "Okay, this lizard's been in this little container for a long time. It's starting to get cold in this room." They, they're supposed to be warm. I'm like, "I gotta get this thing home." So, I dip out of the party before they're ... you know, just when everything's about cleaned up. I'm like, "All right, I'm gonna get this home and set up the cage so this little thing doesn't die or something." 'Cause you don't want that to happen, you know? Becca's daughter's all excited to have this new pet. Gotta make sure it lives. So, I rush home with this thing and I've got the heat cranked up in the truck. I'm like sweating. Just, "Ugh! Ugh! It'll be okay, little fella."

[laughs] You're holding the lizard with your hand towards the vent.

[laughs] No, I put-

Heat!

I pointed the vents at it. Thankfully, the little container fit perfectly in my cup's little truck holder.

[laughs] Oh, good.

Or my truck's little cup holder. So, I get home and I grab the cage, and I start opening it and taking it apart. And I start pulling stuff out of it 'cause it's one of these kits, you know? It's not a kit for a lizard. It's a kit for a, a tarantula or a scorpion.

[laughs]

[laughs] So, I start panicking. I'm like-

What idiot buys this?

Oh! He's listening, Peaches. Be careful. [laughs] We'll leave him unnamed. [laughs] You know when you're in a rush to get a present? I'm blaming the store. I won't li- name the store. But if you're a store selling somebody a pet, why wouldn't you tell them, "Hey, this isn't the right kit"? You know?

Was it talked about before to get this p- to get her a lizard?

No. No.

It was just like, "Oh, let me-

It was a surprise

... just spontaneously buy this girl-

Yes. Yes

... a difficult pet to deal with."

[laughs] Her brother's a maniac. He's crazy.

Reminds me of that Family Guy segment where they give Peter, like, these tropical fish that you have to feed at meticulous times and all of that, and it's quite annoying.

Yeah, it's an ordeal. So, I'm panicking. Like, okay, I don't want this lizard to die, but I don't have the proper environment for it. Thankfully, the pet store was still open at the time. So-

Shocking on a Sunday.

Uh, Friday night.

Friday night, that's what it was.

This was Friday night. So, put everything back in the thing, rush over to where, where he got it from. And you know, we start talking with, uh, one of the girls there, and she's like, "Well, you need this kit."

Of course.

"You know, you need this one." That cost way more [laughs] than the other thing.

And now you're in charge of it for some reason. Like, nobody else took it, took action.

[laughs] Well, now, Becca was with me and the kids. So, we're like, "Go look at the kittens! We gotta get this figured out." So, we get to the store and it's like, "All right, you need this kit. You need all this different stuff." Like you mentioned, a lamp, and you know, there's a certain way you gotta set up the environment.

Do they eat crickets too?

I mentioned at the beginning of this break, Christmas trees and bugs in the house.

Oh. Sorry.

So, yes, it all circles back to, yes, it needs crickets. And we were aware it was gonna need crickets, but I didn't think much about this because they're... All right, it's pet food. It's crickets.

Yeah, we used to have to have those for our frogs.

Crickets need their own environment as well.

Mm-hmm.

So, not only do you gotta get the big kit for the lizard-

Wait, you had to get the whole thing for the crickets?

Whole thing for the crickets too.

I thought we used to just put them in a bag or they, they would give you them in a bag, and then you would just dump the whole bag in the-

I'm not gonna go buy crickets every single day. You know? Every day my new thing is to go to the pet store? No. I like to go home after work. So, you get the little environment for the crickets to be in. Little, a little container, you know, a little cage type thing. Crickets also need food and water. I am now a cricket farmer, Peaches. I've got bugs living in my house that are pets that I feed to another pet.

I'm a cricket farmer.

[laughs]

And you know how much I love bugs.

I'm, I'm gla-... I just, I just gotta say, I'm glad I'm dating someone who also hates pets.

[laughs]

[laughs] So, we don't, we won't have to worry about anything like this.

Becca loves pets.

That way we have nothing-

She's so excited. And, again, the lizard's cute. He's a cute little fella. It's fun to watch him chase down and eat the crickets. And yeah, it took me a couple hours to get his little environment all set up and, like, deal with the mess that came along with that, and set up the cricket environment. And then I get home yesterday after... You know, and thank you to Becca's sister for coming over and, uh,

taking care of the pets while we were out of town for a day on Saturday.

I just saw your phone light up there on the counter, so I was hoping that-

[laughs]

... there'd been some text message. "Peach has called me an idiot." [laughs]

[laughs] So, so, you know, I get home yesterday and it's like, all right, all the animals are alive. The lizards alive. Becca's sister like, you know, had to flip the lights on and off 'cause you gotta change the lights. Jade told me he's gonna give me some timers for the lights so we don't have to manually change the lights back and forth every single day.

Poor Jade has to fix everything that you cause. [laughs]

I didn't cause anything. [laughs] This has 0% to do with me. [laughs] But the crickets, she- she decided to feed the, uh, the lizards some crickets. And the container I got, it's designed in a way that you can get the crickets out without like having to dump the container, but I think, you know, I'm the only one who really knows much about the cricket environment 'cause I am now Victor the cricket farmer. So I think she just-

Are you breeding them too and all that? Like-

I'm... Well, I assume they breed 'cause they're in a cage and you don't know if they're, you know, boys or girls. They're crickets. [laughs] What do you need? A magnifying glass? Uh, separate 'em? No.

You hear a romantic chirp going on-

Yeah

... like, "Oh, there we go."

Yeah, you just, you put- put the crickets in there. But so the cricket environment, I assume she just kinda dumped the cage into the- the lizards', you know, uh, uh, aquarium. And so the cricket food-

The

[laughs]

... the cricket food is all messed up 'cause there's little containers to put the food, and they have these little gel water things so the crickets can keep themselves like, you know, nourished with water. So that's all messed up. So then I'm having to, um, um, fix the cricket cage when I get home yesterday.

Dude, I can smell your house from here.

Did... It... Did you still wanna come help me move some stuff around my house?

Ph- yeah, I have to.

[laughs] 'Cause I... 'Cause here's the thing, I need to get some, all my gear moved up to the studio so I can shampoo my whole house now that the pets all don't hate each other so bad.

And then I'll- I'll tell the story again later if Jade pops by, but after all of that, finally I'm just exhausted last night. Decide, all right, we're gonna go to bed early, and then there was some cat mayhem that went down at about 10:30 PM.

Kept me up 'til midnight. I was asleep at about 8:45 like, "This is gonna be a great Monday. I'm gonna get tons of rest, wake up feeling good." No! Not at my house, not at the Wilt Zoo, the Wilt Family Zoo

[laughs], no. No, it's time to wake up at 10:30 PM and deal with serious-

Ain't no rest for the Wilt. [laughs]

... serious drama and vomit. My house is filled with bugs. I'm a cricket farmer.

There was a, there was a pee thing that happened not that long ago, which by the way, people can listen to that on a previous podcast.

Yeah, dude. About ready to get rid of all the c- all the pets. They're all gone!

Replace them with plants. It's the best thing to do.

Plants have bugs! [laughs]

O- over the Cos- over the weekend I went to Costco, got a... I got myself a candle warmer.

Oh, pfft.

That's the highlight of my week. [laughs]

[laughs] Oh, I got myself a warmer, a tank warmer.

[laughs] Yeah, there you go.

Oh. So, uh, thank you again to, uh, Becca's brother for the unexpected pet. It's cute. I like watching it eat crickets, but I didn't wanna be a bug farmer. [laughs]

What's the most difficult-

'Cause I don't like bugs

... pet to give someone?

I mean, this isn't too bad. I mean, I would think like a dog would be the worst pet you could give someone.

Just please don't be that guy that gets a ferret.

E- uh-

They better not be next.

D- Don't, don't give any ideas.

Oh, that's a white trash thing. Stop.

Becca likes pets. She wants to get a duck. I'm like, "A duck? What are we gonna do with that?"

Yeah, yeah, don't.

No, we- we don't need-

Draw the line.

[laughs] No, no du- We are at pet limit.

[laughs]

We are at pet limit at the Wilt Family Zoo.

Magically, you're telling Becca the- that the gecko went to the great insurance company in the sky.

[laughs] No!

[laughs]

Because we spent so much money on that tank. Uh, we're keeping the stupid lizard now.

Now, magically, uh, half the cuts are missing. Who would've thought?

[laughs]

Those headstones in the backyard. [laughs] I'm just kidding.

I- I don't know what the price of crickets are either. I wasn't even... At that point, I wasn't paying attention.

Pretty soon you'll be Mrs. Deagle. [laughs] You'll be going-

[laughs]

... "I'll put the dog in the dryer on high heat." [laughs]

I'm gonna put- put... Oh geez. [laughs] I am starting to feel like Mrs. Deagle today. [laughs]

[laughs]

All right, we'll be back, everybody. [instrumental music plays] All right, we got Peaches back in the house. I was gonna bring Jayden for this break, but I don't know if he's here. I couldn't find him, so I figured I'd fill you in on the rest of my weekend, Peaches. So you heard about Friday night.

Yes.

Okay, so got the, the situation dealt with fairly late with the, uh, lizard. Got his tank all set up and everything. Doing fine. But we had kids staying at the house 'cause, you know, post birthday. So

kids are partying, you know? Th- they're being wild. They're up real late.

They're drinking Faygo ?

Oh, yeah. Well, Cherry Coke. Cherry Cola.

The hard stuff.

That's right. Mm-hmm. Going hard. So they're like, you know, just being in... wild in the hot tub. We're like, "Oh, it's a birthday. Go ahead. Stay up late." Get them to bed at, I don't know,

2:00-

Wow.

... 2:00 in the morning, something. So we-

That's Friday night?

That's Friday night. So we probably get to sleep at like 3:00, all right? After an exhausting week last week. Last week was- was rough. Wake up Saturday morning and the plan is let's... You know, we were gonna go to Thrice in Salt Lake that had been planned for quite some time.

Right. Yeah.

So we have to get the kids up and drop them off at like, uh, 9:00 or something like that. So do not get good sleep at all after, you know... Be- being pretty stressed out the night before and the entire week.

You gotta be careful.

So, uh, I was not wanting to go to Salt Lake. I was like, "Screw this. I don't wanna go." But I didn't wanna let Becca down, you know? So I'm like, "I'm gonna just power through. Just gonna power through." And I'm gr- you know, not feeling great 'cause you know me when I don't get enough sleep. I don't do good.[rock music] So, all right, let's just go. Let's go to Salt Lake. It was a long drive. It sucked. You know, we get to the hotel and it's like, "Oh,

I just wanna stay in this room and go to sleep." But, nope, got to power through, so we meet up with Jade and Jess, have ourselves a nice meal at the German deli, which was good. And then it's like, "All right, time to go to the show." Still just like, "I do not wanna be in Salt Lake."

That drive, man, it really gets to you.

Yeah. And we, when we rolled into Salt Lake... Sorry for those who've been listening all morning, I did tell this story during the six o'clock hour. But the GPS takes us through an early Salt Lake exit, so we have to drive past all the, uh, factories that are just pumping nasty crap in the... It, it, it sh- there was a bad inversion that day, and so the air just stinks. I'm, like, tired and not feeling great, and it's just disgusting as we roll into Salt Lake. I'm like, "This place is a dump, this stupid town." Anyway, after we have dinner, it's like, "All right, let's go to the show." So, we get to the show, get our tickets [laughs], walk in, and both me and Becca are just like,

"Screw this [laughs]. Screw this!" So, we just left. We left, and we're like, "I just can't do it." And we went back to the hotel. It was nice and relaxing. We went to bed early, like real early. Uh, woke up in the middle of the night, and we're like, "Okay, it's like 3:00 in the morning."

Now we're ready to party.

And it's like, "W- well, no."

[laughs]

We're like, "Let's watch a movie." So we watched The Longest Yard, which was, you know, enjoyable. It was fun.

It's a great movie.

And then we go back to sleep, get up, have to drive all the way back, you know? Thankfully, you know, it was a much better drive than the previous day, 'cause we did get a lot of sleep in Salt Lake, 'cause we didn't go to the show. Uh, get back, finally get back to my house,

and like, "All right, let's have some food. Let's kick back, watch a movie. Let's go to bed early." So, we get in bed early. It, it was gonna be great. Gonna be great. You know, I love if I can get to sleep by nine o'clock, I know that I'm gonna have a decent day at work the next day, 'cause I need sleep. I'm old!

I know not to text you past 8:00 PM.

Yeah!

Past even 7:30 maybe.

Yeah. So, get to bed. I probably fell asleep by 9:00. I'm like, "This is awesome." 10:30 PM, wake up next... with Koopa next to my head. He decided to come in the room. He hasn't done this for a while. He's been hiding from the other animals up on the top of the cat tree. He, he's right next to my head, and he's growling. One of the other cats, Jess, she jumps up on the bed. She's this little tiny... Like, she's gotta be a third of his size, and she's 15 years old, but she's mean. She's like a mean little gremlin to Koopa. She, like, loves Lucy. She wants to be friend. Something about Koopa. She, so she,

like, darts at him, and he freaks! Makes this loud, "Rah!" And, you know, goes flying across me, wakes both of us up, and we're both frazzled. Frazzled awake at 10:30. And so Becca gets up to go get something to drink-

Is this, is this last night?

This is last night.

That's right. That's what I thought.

Last night.

Okay.

10:30 PM. So, Becca gets up to go get some water, spills... Y- you know, the... She had an, a cup of, like... She wanted some ice water. She has this other cup of water, spills it all over the place, so then she's just angry and frazzled.

Right.

And she's like, "I'm just gonna go watch some TV." So, I'm laying there, and I'm like, "[groans]. I hope I can just get back to sleep. I wanted to get good sleep tonight." I'm sitting there, you know, just trying to calm back down from the cat mayhem, and then I hear Lucy to the side of me. She's laying on a little cat bed on that bench in my room, "Ech, ech, ech."

Oh, no [laughs].

I'm like, "W- no!" So, I jump up to grab Lucy and try to get her out of the room before she, you know, pukes.

Goes all over the carpet.

I didn't make it out of the room with her, and I should've just let her sit where she was and puke in one spot. She projectile vomited across my entire room.

Oh.

And

it was everywhere. Everywhere, all over the bench. There's this mirror Becca had that we've been trying to figure out a spot to hang up in my room, and it's got, like, a wood frame around it with a... It's all carved, you know, with all these little-

Yeah, I carried it in.

... you know? Okay.

[laughs] Yeah, I know what you're talking about [laughs].

You got all these little nooks and crannies in it. Lucy had puked on the top of it, and in the time it took me to go in the kitchen to get some paper towels and, uh, a rag and stuff, the puke runs down the mirror in all the little cracks and crevices. And I'm trying to cle- You can't clean it out with, with the washcloth. And so I'm, like, stomping around and swearing and just furious [laughs]. Becca thinks I'm mad at her for some reason [laughs], and I'm just raging at... And it took me till, you know, probably 11:15 or so to clean vomit from all over my room. I'm scrubbing the carpet. I, you know, just got piles of paper towels filled up with chunks of cat food vomit. You know, the floor is all wet from me scrubbing it all over the place. And do you think I'm able to just go back to sleep? No! No. So, eh, m- got to bed early. I don't know what time I ended up actually falling asleep.... but it was not when I wanted to. [laughs] It was pretty late, so, uh, so now I'm just frazzled today, just frazzled. All I wanted was good rest last night.

I'm shocked you're even here.

I don't have enough PTO to be taking days off.

I would've given you some of mine.

[laughs]

I wish I could do that.

I don't know if we can, dude. [laughs]

I had an issue with cats as well over the weekend. I forgot to tell you about this in the previous break.

You had a cat issue?

Yeah, Fat Cats in Rexburg.

Oh, Fat Cats. [laughs]

[laughs] Uh, we, we went there to go bowling, uh, Saturday night. And of course, you go there on a Saturday night, it's the only thing to do in Rexburg. No offense, Rexburg, but it, there was a 45-minute wait to bowl.

Jeez.

So we had to call ... I, I had to call ahead to make sure they had my size in shoes, 'cause I'm not gonna-

Oh, yeah

... go with my running shoes and be that guy that flops onto the bowling lane-

Mm-hmm

... and someone recognizes, "Hey, it's Peaches from K-Bear. There's him on his stomach in the middle of the bowling alley."

[laughs]

But, uh, no, then we had to go, we went to the ... So I'm, I'm cussing up a storm 'cause there's too many people around.

[laughs]

And I'm in Rexburg out of all places. [laughs]

[laughs]

And then so we went to the college campus. [laughs] So we went to the college campus and bowled. We still had like a 35, 40-minute wait. We had to make sure they had the right shoes for me. And then I just kept, [laughs] like, bowling these terr- I didn't realize how bad I was at bowling. I gotta, I gotta give Justin some props too 'cause I, I didn't realize how good of a bowler, uh, how m- how much skill you have to have to bowl, kind of.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's, it's a skill, for sure.

My highest score was like 126.

[laughs] That's pretty good.

And I know Justin scored like 300s before.

Oh, yeah.

So I'm like, so I w- I got like three strikes in a row in one game and I was like, "Yes." Then I started cussing up a storm and I'm like, "I'm at BYU-Idaho-"

[laughs]

"... I can't be doing this." [laughs]

Yeah, or I hope you were wearing pants.

[laughs]

They don't like shorts there either.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

But, uh, yeah, over ... That was my biggest issue, was waiting 45 minutes for Fat Cats. We didn't do that. We always winded up going to the college.

I would ... Tha- I wish that was the only stress I had over the weekend.

I should've invited both of you, but you guys were both in Salt Lake City.

Yeah, in Salt Lake we had a three-hour drive for a German meal. [laughs] That's ultima- We did go to the, um, the Chinese supermarket. They have this like-

Oh yeah.

And that was pretty cool. It's g-

You see the crabs in the tanks?

Uh, I, I didn't see that.

In the far back?

Okay. Yeah, we, we didn't look around at the whole store.

Oh yeah, we went to ... M- me, Aubrey, of course Mandy from down the hall, and Aubrey's brother went there, and sure enough, there's crabs, there's a- all this, th- this disgusting stuff in the back. [laughs]

Yeah, we did, uh-

Dead eel, you can eat. [laughs]

Yeah, we did some Christmas shopping, got some, you know, weird stuff. Uh, so that was cool, but it was essentially, yeah, a three-hour drive to go to the grocery store and have a Reuben sandwich.

So you should've gone to the, the Asian store and you should've, uh, given, like, Becca's brother something really nasty from that store as retaliation.

I should've brought him back ... Yeah, I'm gonna order that guy some Surstrom-

I got you some ostrich feet.

[laughs]

[laughs] I don't know.

Here's some delicious fermented fish.

[laughs]

Be sure to open it s- Oh yeah, well, I, I don't know.

No, no, you, you open up the thing in his place and hide it.

Ah, now, that's mean.

That's what I did to a coworker at TMZ when she was like ... She threw this ... Such a fit when I opened up a can of tuna to smear on crackers as a snack.

Mm-hmm.

"Oh, that smells!" So I took one of those cans, and, uh, the next time and put it below her computer-

Nice

... in like a little nook to where she couldn't see it, and it, like, sat there and rotted for, like, two weeks-

Oh, Peaches.

... and got even worse.

That's bad.

And she was, she was looking around, "What's that smell? I keep walking over here." [laughs] And I'm laughing my head off.

Oh, that's pretty brutal. Ugh, so yeah, that, that was my weekend. You know, a, uh, crazy birthday party, unexpected pet mayhem, trip to Salt Lake that cost ... You know, it costs a lot to go to Salt Lake just to have a sandwich.

Yeah, the gas sucks.

[laughs] And then a night of cat vomit, a night of just cat vomit fiesta.

And you're writing this all down saying this is, this is gonna make for a great Monday show.

Well, if it ... That's the only thing good, is every time these things were happening, I'm like, "Well, I'll have something to talk about [laughs] on the morning show." [laughs] So I ... Nothing better happen today. I'm, like, staying away from people.

I might go, mm, mm, mm-

Peaches, don't make that sound

... in the hallway.

Don't make that sound.

[laughs]

No vomit sounds.

Well, I got some bad news for beer fans, or at least fans of craft beer. The Rogue Ales Brewery,

I guess, shutting down. Yeah, they abruptly closed all operations. They've got, uh, brew pubs in places like Astoria, the main brewery in Newport. I've, I've been there before. Every time I've been to Newport, I stop by 'cause you can buy, like, you know, discount, fantastic 22-ounce bottles, like limited edition stuff for dirt cheap. Uh, very sad. Very sad. I've been there many times. Makers of, uh, Dead Guy Ale, I believe would be their most famous beer. But, uh, yeah, all of their brew pubs across the state of Oregon just, bam, shut down and, uh, not looking good. I don't know. Happening, uh, across the craft brew world, so good luck to all the other companies out there. People shouldn't have to drink, you know, that crappy lager beer. Ugh. Sorry, I mean, most people like that. Just to me, regular old, you know, American-style lager, disgusting!

So yeah, that's a, that's a bummer. That's a real bummer. Just wanted to bu- bum you beer people out. If you wanna get yourself some Dead Guy Ale, better get to the store now 'cause looks like that, that ain't gonna be around very long. [rock music] So I talk a lot about distracted driving, you know, people get in accidents, need some legal assistance, and always remind you to hit up my friends at the Advocates Injury Attorneys.

[rock music] Sometimes, the things people are doing behind the wheel

that lead to accidents

can really blow your mind. All right? There was a guy in Missoula

driving down the road and I guess he really had to go. And I, I kinda get nervous when we do stories that are this close to the area, 'cause somebody may know James Howard. [laughs] Well, he's driving his Suburban and slams into a Volkswagen carrying a couple passengers. And Highway Patrol shows up and they see a tall can of Budweiser in his right hand, which he quickly moves into the, uh, center console. He was, you know, holding the can 'cause he was trying to cover up the fact that his, uh, his pants were down. Yeah, he was trying to, you know, relieve himself into the empty tall can. [laughs] All right. Anybody who's had a can of anything, you know, that for one just sounds

risky. Okay? As a man, that rim around the, uh, [laughs] the top of the can? You know, the, the part that you open them? That's sharp. That's sharp! You wouldn't stick your finger in a can, would you? No! Geez! And so, when the cop's asking him, "Hey, you know, h- hand me the beer." He's like, "Well, that ain't beer." [laughs] Yeah, he's, uh, he's in jail 'cause

as you might guess, I mean, he emptied the can in the vehicle [laughs] prior to using it as a, uh, portable toilet. Uh, dude, you coulda hurt somebody. I mean, it's Missoula, right? It's a very woodsy area. Gotta be somewhere you could pull off, go behind a tr- I mean, you shouldn't be drinking and driving to begin with. That's, you know, what an idiot. But

again, I, I don't know. [laughs] I'd be finding a gas station ... A can. Metal, aluminum can. Yeah, no thanks. Especially

when you couldn't really focus. You're trying to drive. Oh, the chance of pain.

Now, luckily nobody was seriously injured. Ugh. So, if a, you know, drunk driver trying to go to, uh, the bathroom in a tall can injures you or a loved one in, in an accident, don't forget

to call my friends at The Advocates Injury Attorneys. [laughs] They'll help you deal with the legal stuff. You're gonna heal up. They'll explain to the judge what, you know, or you know, the insurance company what's going on. Fight to get you a good settlement.

As I was scrolling the internet, I found a letter to the editor of NPR that I thought for sure Peaches had sent in. Peaches! I don't know if he could hear me yell.

[laughs] Or if he's even close by. I was gonna see if he wanted to come over here and talk about this. 'Cause this is a, uh, Peaches complaint that we've heard from time to time. Peaches!

All right, he must now be close by. So, it says, I, I guess that, uh, it's not a letter to the editor. It's a feature called Life Kit. And it says, "Dear Life Kit, I'm tall. How do I politely ask people to stop bringing it up?" Then I got reading further and it says, "Dear Life Kit, I'm a six-foot-tall woman

and both complete strangers and new acquaintances often make comments like, 'Wow, you're tall.' Some people li- say I should take it as a compliment, but it makes me feel like a spectacle. I don't wanna normalize the comments, but I also don't want to embarrass the commenters. How can I respond?" There he is! Pages! [laughs] Did you see this, uh, this letter to NPR?

No.

From this, this poor, uh, tall woman?

I heard you yelling certain things, so ...

You heard me yelling, "Peaches!"

No, I didn't hear that. I heard you yell like, "Uh, being tall is not a spectacle."

Okay.

Or, "It's not my whole personality."

[laughs] There we go.

And I 100% agree.

[laughs] I figured you'd like this letter that yeah, somebody wrote to NPR. It was a, a woman who, I mean, she's only six foot tall.

Tall?

That's not that tall.

For a woman, that's pretty big.

That's tall for a woman. But she constantly deals with, like you do, people going, "Wow, you're tall!" [laughs] And, "Whoa!" And so-

My favorite thing that I do, um, not to cut you off, but my favorite thing that happens is that Aubrey sometimes will tell me that people are staring. Some- and then I'll ... She'll point out the person and I'll just look back at them and just stare at them too-

[laughs]

... and make them really uncomfortable.

Well, these guys didn't, uh, offer up that as an, you know, option for a solution to the problem. They're like, "You know, uh, what you could do is be like, 'Oh gosh, you're the first person to tell me that,' kind of a smart alecky response."

I still think the Wilt Chamberlain way is the way to go. Spit on them, say it's raining.

[laughs] If they ask, "What's the weather like up there?"

Yeah, that's right.

That's pretty good. So, they did say, Peaches, you can be direct with these people and go, "Is this catching your s- attention so much that you have to say something right now?" So, you should start doing that. Get a little more aggressive with these people who are like, "How tall are you? Geez!" [laughs] Uh, I just found it funny that somebody wrote in to ask about this. T-

Be like, "If you get the height wrong, I'll walk away from this conversation."

Yeah, you gotta set some boundaries. Be like, "Listen, I am not comfortable with this. Please stop asking me these questions."

"I'm triggered."

[laughs] Anytime somebody takes a picture at a show.[laughs] "Can anybody find Peaches?" [laughs]

Hey, the latest person to do that was Maddie from down the hallway.

[laughs] Well, she knows that it annoys you, I'm sure.

She, she texted me, "Please approve my post in the K-Bear group."

[laughs] Oh, I probably need to look through. We probably have a lot built up, huh?

Uh, we have, like, 70.

Okay. Well, that'll take me a little bit of time this morning before I get to, uh, dealing with some country music. I was also gonna talk about country music. Speaking of, uh, tall beasts, I'm sure you're familiar [laughs] with Big Bird, Peaches, right? [laughs] Is that your favorite Sesame Street character?

No, mine's Oscar the Grouch.

[laughs]

Love that guy.

Okay, that makes, that makes some sense.

[laughs]

Hate Big Bird, I don't like tall things. [laughs]

[laughs]

Big Bird is very insulting.

I gotta tell you, Howard Stern looks a lot like Big Bird, to be quite honest with you.

You're, you're right.

He has the poofy hair and the big nose, you know? [laughs]

You're right. I forgot about this movie. I remember seeing it when I was a kid. It was called Follow That Bird, and it's a movie about, I don't know, Big Bird, Big Bird hitting the road, going somewhere. Um, but, uh, I guess Waylon Jennings, country outlaw, at one point picks up Bidge- Big Bird.

Whoa!

[laughs] I said Big Bird.

[laughs] Whoa!

[laughs]

I don't think you did.

[laughs] I did.

Uh, strike that from the tape.

[laughs] Picks up Big Bird, you know, in his, uh, his 18-wheeler and is transporting Big Bird. And back in the day, you know, people would smoke in movies. You know, you're not gonna see people smoking in a kids movie anymore, but this was 1985. So Waylon Jennings is just mowing down cigarettes, and apparently lit Big Bird on fire [laughs] during the production of the movie. And I just found it funny that Waylon Jennings lit Big Bird on fire.

How did we go from a lady getting mad at NPR to this?

'Cause Big Bird's tall. This is, you know, Tall Talk- [laughs]

[laughs]

... with Victor Wilt.

That's my, that's my fifth podcast, Tall Talk.

[laughs] Tall Talk, every Monday morning about 9:30 AM, we talk about all things tall. And today it was, uh, letter to the editor. You know, don't just ask somebody, "What, uh, why are you so tall?" Or amaze at how tall they are.

Big Bird is eight foot two.

Eight foot two?

Yeah.

That's frightening. That's way too tall. I mean, wh- when someone makes you look short, that's way too tall.

It's Big Bird.

Peaches, you should dress up as Big Bird sometime. [laughs]

[laughs] Who are you gonna be, Bert, Ernie?

Probably I gotta be someone short. Bert or Ernie's more of my look. Bert's kinda Jade Davis looking, you know, kinda with the skinny...

Yeah, both of you can be Bert and Ernie. [laughs]

I'll be the short kinda fat guy.

Short, fat Sesame Street character.

It's gotta be Ernie, right?

You know the, uh, two old men that are constantly insulting everything?

Constantly yelling at each other? That, that could be me and Jade too.

That's you and Jade.

[laughs]

How about, uh, Mr. Johnson?

Who's Mr. Johnson?

Look at this guy.

Is he, like, a judge or something?

I don't know. [laughs]

I don't know. If, if I grew my hair out and a mustache, I'd kinda look that way. [laughs] 'Cause he's bald.

Freddy is a fat, blue anything Muppet lad. Okay. Well, that's a great description.

A fat, blue Muppet lad? Okay.

Let's listen, see who the Freddy Muppet is.

Yeah, I guess that, uh-

We'll see

... the reason that this article's making the rounds is, uh, Waylon Jennings' son, Shooter Jennings, has a new album out this week. So he's talking about memories.

Is that his real-

And he remembered when he was a little kid, that his dad lit Big Bird on fire.

Is that his real name?

Shooter, it's his real name. Yeah. That's... Dude, if you're, if you're Waylon Jennings, you gotta give your kid a name like Shooter. You know? Or, I don't know, Hunter, uh, Buck. [laughs] I don't know. [laughs]

I, I do, uh, I do have a funny, funny story. We can probably save it for the next break if you want to.

Okay, yeah, let's save it for the next break.

Uh, we'll have to work our way around it, but-

Okay

... i- it's pretty funny.

All right. Peaches and I will be back with a funny break that is gonna be difficult to get away with on air. Hang on.

It's the Victor Wilt Show. Went by pretty quick today, which I'm glad for. Got a lot to do and... My glorious couch. Oh, it sounds so good.

Last night, as I was attempting to fall asleep, I threw on the movie Eddington, which is now available on, I believe, HBO. You may have heard me talk about this movie before, the latest A24 movie from director Ari Aster, director of Hereditary and Midsommar, two of my all-time favorite movies. I went and saw it in the theater, sort of. I was there. I watched the first 30 minutes, fell asleep, woke up embarrassed about an hour later. [laughs] Bombed out of the movie theater and went home, feeling shame. Dark room. You know, a, a dark room and being fairly comfortable for me, watching a good movie, sometimes that's a recipe for just fall asleep. So then, you know, a few weeks ago, couple weeks ago, picked it up on streaming. Was like, "All right, my girlfriend's at work. I'm sad and lonely, sitting here by myself. I guess I'll try to watch Eddington again." Watched about a half hour, thoroughly enjoying it.

Just bam, crash right out. Another dark, comfy room, my living room. Woke up to the end credits. So last night, prior to the cat mayhem I discussed earlier on the program, which...

[Rock music playing]

If you missed it, you're gonna have to go back and listen to this on demand, available everywhere podcasts can be found. I- if you like stories about, uh,

cat puke eruptions, late at night when, you know, you're trying to sleep, you'll like this story. But prior to that, I was like, "All right, I wanna get to sleep." Scrolling HBO and I'm like, "Eddington?

Well, there we go!" My perfect good night movie. It worked pretty good. The movie's not even boring, which is why I don't know why I can't make it through it. My homie, uh, Carl, who used to work at, uh, KFLY in Eugene, Oregon, radio station rock... Well, former rock radio station down there till terrible management flipped it to some garbage nobody wants to listen to. He posted about it today and was just talking about how mind-blown he was by the movie, and

now, [huffs] now I just really want to see it. But I know today, if I go home

and my, my lady heads to work, I'm gonna turn it on

and I'm just gonna fall asleep again. I need to, uh, have a night where I sleep like 10 hours, I wake up, pound a strong instant coffee shooter, and then just fire that movie up to start my day. I have a feeling I'm gonna really like it 'cause I like all of his other movies, but I don't know what it is about the timing with this one, I just can't for the life of me make it past about 30 minutes into the movie, and that's when it seems to be starting to get weird. So, yeah. To those of you who keep telling me, "You gotta see it," I'm trying. Last night I deliberately threw it on knowing this is gonna help me get to sleep. Should have thrown it back on after, you know, Lucy just fountain erupted with vomit all over my room.

I don't even re- remember what I did to get to sleep. I just laid there. I was like, "Please, please." So, as you can tell, I'm tired. I'm gonna go get some coffee, and then I have to listen to hours and hours of really sad country music so I can get the job done that Jade's been giving me a bunch of grief about for quite some time now. At least I'm in the final stretch. Now I just have to listen to, thoroughly analyze, and code every song. Hopefully the other guys are putting the dates in. Ugh. Wish me luck. When you're feeling down, you do not wanna listen to country music. There's a lot of really sad, depressing country music. But I'll, I'll get there eventually, and then I'll be able to tell y'all about

the greatest country station of all time that will be available to listen to. Getting close. But as you can tell, my enthusiasm for today, low, very low.

Anyway, I'll, I'll stop complaining. Today's show powered by complaints. Catch the Victor Wilt Show every weekday morning, 6:30 or 6:00 to 10:00 AM, I should say, depending on the day, I guess.

Wish me luck, people. Wish me luck on surviving. [rock music plays] Thank you again for tuning in to the Victor Wilt Show. This program's a production of Riverbend Media Group. To contact the show or for more information, hit us up at riverbendmediagroup.com.