The Viktor Wilt Show

Speaker 1: The noon hour of madness and mayhem the podcast.

Speaker 2: Here we are. It's uh pre-Friday, the noon hour of madness and mayhem. This is the first time in a long time I've been uh driving the ship. Yeah. I'm sitting here just being sleepy. So I'm gonna crack myself a dirty dude and see if I can make myself vomit. Victor, you can't call that a dirty dude. That's a full-on voodoo IPA range or whatever it is.

Speaker 3: Oh, come on, don't tell Jade. Shh.

Speaker 2: I just cracked open my bottle of moonshine. We getting crazy. I'm going crunk.

Speaker 3: I'm getting crunk.

Speaker 2: Uh just a PSA. Uh if you're gonna use the restroom in a public place, please lock the door behind you.

Speaker 3: Yeah, if it's a single-use bathroom that has a lock on the door, that's why the locks on the door. So people don't barge in.

Speaker 2: Don't be that person that uses the restroom, uh, doesn't lock the door, somebody else tries walking in, and then you shove the door back in their face and go, excuse me. You're not Vicky Guerrero. You're not the warden from the movie holes. You're an old person trying to use the restroom. Learn you know you know what a door lock is. When were door locks invented?

Speaker 3: I would imagine a really long time ago. Thousands of years. I mean, we that's gotta go back to 2000 BC.

Speaker 2: Yeah, 2000 BC.

Speaker 2: In ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia. Do you think somebody just walked in on somebody else and said, we need to find a way to be able to control the door? Yeah.

Speaker 3: Or they were protecting their their riches. Oh, yeah, that's that's also true. But yeah, uh, it was pretty funny seeing uh your interaction when you had that happen to you last night.

Speaker 2: This guy who looked like Duck Dynasty Santa, uh just went in the restroom. Um, I didn't see him walk in there. Uh the door was unlocked, so I tried opening it. The door opened halfway, and then I hear the guy go,

Speaker 3: excuse me,

Speaker 2: and then shuts the door in my face. So now I'm I'm all upset. I'm embarrassed. So I get back and I I he I see him at the end of the bar come out of the restroom and he starts talking to some random guy, and I think the random guy seated at the bar heard me say like all these different things about the dude in there. So he was telling him, and the other guy got all like uh like riled up and was just like cussing. He was like, do people know have any common courtesy these days?

Speaker 3: And he's like throwing a fit and he's like shaking his head and everything. And I'm laughing because I'm trying to play trivia, pretending I wasn't the guy that just tried to open the door. Because it's also like, yeah, the biggest dude in here is the guy that tried opening the door and you just shut it in his face.

Yeah. And they're gonna like point to me, and it's like I was gonna point to the tiny little guy that kept bothering me. Like it was him. Beat him up.

You know, get him away from me. Cause some bar drama as we're trying to sit there and play trivia. Just trying to answer questions. Peaches is causing a ruckus. Jeez.

Speaker 2: I'm like, you you and Becca are the two that were causing the most the most problems.

Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna just say she was causing the most problems.

Speaker 2: It's like a soap opera watching you too.

Speaker 3: Yeah, there was uh, you know, only a little bit of drama, and it it was over with fast.

Speaker 2: Well, even the Papa Roach concert. It's like trying to keep track of two five-year-olds.

Speaker 3: Uh it can get that way sometimes.

Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like we're 42 and 30 something.

Speaker 3: Act right.

Speaker 2: No, you shouldn't have 30-year-old

Speaker 3: me walking around with you with you both on a leash and making sure you don't run off and go, I'm leaving, and try going down a back alley. Come on. The back alley she was walking down looked exactly like one in this uh true crime documentary I watched the other day. Maybe it was. I was like, yeah.

Speaker 2: You did tell me a lot of these murder documentaries take place in Idaho and Utah.

Speaker 3: Yeah, where I don't remember where this one was, but it was uh it was in uh an alley that was very similar, and they found a dead body that and it was actually uh a 15-year-old kid that had ended up committing the crime. It took him 30 years to solve the crime, and it was the first time they'd ever like pulled DNA from a body, I guess, and they stored it for 30 years, and you know, finally with more modern technology, it just like scans the system. Imagine and they find this dude, and they're like, well, he was only 15 at the time, but all the pieces just fell into place.

Speaker 2: Imagine being that 15-year-old that thinks they got away with it 30 years later at 45 years old, and all of a sudden the cops show up at your door and take you away for a very long time.

Speaker 3: And it was a very, very nasty uh crime. Wow. It was very, very bad. And so you you'd assume he went on to do other worse things that he you know didn't for.

Speaker 2: Yeah. So I've seen those uh shorts popping up as of late of cops uh what there was one in particular where like I think this girl, like this teenage daughter killed her boyfriend and his body was in the garage, and the mom had no idea. Oh, geez. And they just showed up at the door moms, their moms are like, oh, like what's wrong, officers? And they they come in and they go, like, well, we need to arrest your daughter. Why? What for? Um, there's a body in your garage. What?

Speaker 3: I'm glad I'm glad my kids are fairly normal.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I was a rambunctious kid. I was a mean kid, but I never thought of doing anything remotely close to that.

Speaker 3: I would hope not, Peaches, because that's not normal.

Speaker 2: I I popped a person's soccer ball. I've uh I've done that type of thing. I've taken the the football away from those kids that usually play right next to my place, so they stop playing next to my place. And that's about it. You know, I'm not gonna go out there and start beating the crap out of these people. That's good, Peach. I should walk out there with just like a bloody apron and my kitchen knife and start like chasing them down.

Speaker 3: That could get you arrested or shot. No kidding. Don't do it. Idaho shoots back, as they say. So that's right.

Speaker 2: Well, it's the noon hour of madness in mayhem. I am Peaches.

Speaker 3: I am Victor.

Speaker 2: Um, I saw this post. Victor, I found your burner account on Reddit. All right, Beef Dog 69 XXL.

Speaker 3: I I know that's your alias.

Speaker 2: Come on, that's definitely a name you would come up with too. Yeah. If I knew 15-year-old Victor back in the day, that would be your Xbox gamer tag. All right, busted. Beef Dog XX, oh, 69XXL, excuse me, says, if you hate cats for no real reason, you're a bad person. They posted this in the unpopular opinion subreddit, and they're talking about how hating cats for no actual reason, that's a huge red flag to me.

Speaker 3: Okay, and I mean, I do think that's weird. Like if it was an outright hate. Um, like what if they give you the creeps? That would be a reason. Especially the hairless cats. See, real freaky looking. They're freaky looking, but I I wouldn't say they give me the creeps. But um, I would say I don't like snakes because they give me the creeps. I don't know if I hate them.

Speaker 2: Snakes, I really don't see the point in uh well, like what exactly are the point is the point of rattlesnakes?

Speaker 3: Uh rattlesnakes themselves.

Speaker 2: Yeah, because they're do they do nothing but cause terror and mayhem.

Speaker 3: Uh I would imagine they gotta be a food source for something, right?

Speaker 2: What eats rattlesnakes?

Speaker 3: Let's look this up. Like do mountain lions eat them, things like that. Bears. Um they've got to be part of the ecosystem in some way.

Speaker 2: Hawks, owls, roadrunners, coyotes, bobcats, skunks.

Speaker 3: Okay, so they're a food source, basically. And I just snakes eat them. King snakes eat them. Okay. So there's always a bigger snake.

Speaker 2: There's always that's true. You ever seen Anaconda? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Uh well, the one thing I don't get about this post is you know, they go on and on and on and on. But they say that if you uh if you just hate cats, you're a bad person, but they don't say why somebody would be a bad person, just that they disagree basically with uh people who hate cats.

Speaker 2: I don't see myself owning any pets because my allergies. Yeah, I don't want to sneeze. I don't I want my place to be able to be a safe space. Yeah, you know, a safe haven, if you will.

And I was gonna move in with my two friends, uh, but they they own cats, and I would I sneeze every time I go over them. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I don't want to take a daily Claritin or Zurtek, whatever. Yeah, because of their reminder. And they wanted to get a third one, and I was like, no, but stop.

Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys enough. You guys can barely pass by as it is on your own.

Speaker 3: Yeah, two is enough. Take it from me. Yeah, two is like the perfect number of cats. You don't want it. I've had three, and I currently have four and a dog and a lizard. That is four too many animals.

Speaker 2: I do love uh Becca's uh chronicles. Uh her her her uh videos on Snapchat of her battling that cricket that keeps chirping.

Speaker 3: Dude, that cricket, I I tried to find it last night. I did everything. I was moving the rocks around in the the gecko's cage, he's watching me. He can hear the cricket. I'm like, eat it. I'm sitting there yelling at a lizard, you know, because I want to go to bed, and I'm like, eat the cricket. Because he's gotta hear it.

Speaker 2: What if he's like in the closet? Like he's not even in the cage.

Speaker 3: No, it's in there. You could hear it, but I just and at one point I got it moved, and I thought I got it moved toward the gecko, and then maybe you'd get it, but then it went quiet, and I couldn't find it, and then I closed the cage, thinking, oh, maybe I smashed it or something with a rock.

Uh immediately when I get into bed. And it sounded like uh a fire alarm. And it just you know how crickets usually are like goo-goo, goo-goo, goo. this thing was just and it didn't, it didn't stop till I I don't know when I went to sleep. I just slept through it. But it did not stop. There was no break in the sound. It was crazy.

Speaker 2: You should have just chucked the whole terrarium outside.

Speaker 3: I was getting close. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 2: I see that's that's why I'm like, I want the ability to uh be able to come home and have it be quiet. You know, I want it to be nothing's touched, nothing's moved around, that kind of thing. I don't want some cat to scratch up the couch, even though my couch is not the best. I just don't want some cat or dog or any type of animal to tear up anything in my foot.

Speaker 3: I get it. Animals trash your place.

Speaker 2: I almost saw my dad murder a rabbit, or we had we adopted a pet bunny. His name is Hoppy, my sister named him back when we were young kids, and they we trapped him and we put the the the bunny in the bathroom. And the the with rabbits and bunnies, they they chew up everything. Yeah.

Because their teeth will constantly grow if they don't start chewing on things. Yeah. And so this rabbit chewed up all the baseboards in the bathroom. My dad walks in there. Like uh what's that guy? I'm hunting wabbits.

Speaker 3: I forgot his name. Elmer Fudd.

Speaker 2: Elmer Fudd. Yeah, my dad kind of looks like him. He walks in there almost with a shotgun.

Speaker 3: Start shooting the whole shooting the bathroom up.

Speaker 2: The noon hour of madness and mayhem. I am peaches.

Speaker 3: Victor Wilton. I don't know if your Facebook feed looks like mine. You know, I'm getting pummeled with a lot of uh political stuff with the elections coming up.

Speaker 2: Well, thankfully I get none of this month. I get none of that.

Speaker 3: Ah, I get tons of it. But I've been getting some good ones lately. Because you have all these politicians out doing like town hall meetings, and the public in general is just mad at all politicians right now. Like on both sides.

So I'm getting all these great videos where someone in the crowd will disrupt the person's speech and just start screaming at them. And it's really funny. But I guess you can go to jail for this peaches.

Speaker 2: Oh, there's that story about the guy who swore at a public meeting. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Yeah, in Texas. He was booked into jail for using profanity while addressing county commissioners.

Speaker 2: I wonder if that's gonna be interpreted as like, oh, this is not a free like there's no freedom of speech anymore.

Speaker 3: I I would interpret it that way. Why can't you use profanity at uh I don't know if it was a city council meeting or or what? What why not? You know, it's not uh but I I'm a fan of profanity. You know, it's it's a healing um thing. They've they've done tests showing you can withstand more pain if you're swearing than if you're just going sunshine, sunshine.

Speaker 2: You know, like I would think you're a freak if you if you got hurt and you're going sunshine.

Speaker 3: Maybe I'll try it. But yeah, I mean, if you're a some kind of politician, you should be able to handle a few bad words. The president swears on TV all the time. Heck, I would. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Like there was a guy last night at the bar, that the the trivia night. He was like, Man, you got a big head. I didn't go right to jail, hardy look alike.

Speaker 3: Oh, it was hardy. Yeah. Hardy who said it.

Speaker 2: And he apologized afterwards who say, I'm so sorry for saying that. I'm like, dude, it's no big deal.

Speaker 3: Like, yeah. Yeah, we're just all swearing and having a good time here. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2: I didn't like that. He's like, I think you looked annoyed. I'm like, dude, no, I just naturally look like that.

Speaker 3: But I'm gonna I'm gonna ask Lieutenant Crane uh tomorrow during traffic school, powered by the advocate's injury attorneys. Um, if you can go go to jail around here for swearing, that's a concern. Cause I I swear when I'm not on air. I thought on air was the only place you can't swear, on the radio and broadcast TV. Everywhere else, like people might not like it, but this is Merck.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I I limit it. I don't really do it do it all that often anymore.

Speaker 3: I I it depends on the place, the situation.

Speaker 2: Like trivia night last night, of course. We're surrounded by people 21 and over, so we're fine there.

Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, if I'm walking through the mall, I'm not just gonna start screaming profanity. Yeah. Man, I love old navy. I guess depending on what happens. Walked in the dressing room, it doesn't fit.

Speaker 2: Wrapping up the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I brought this up on the show yesterday, Victor. Um the the water was supposed to be shut off for a few hours yesterday. Yeah. During the time that I usually take my midday uh number two. Oh, okay. And so I uh was like, you know what?

I'm not gonna even try. I went to the the kitchen sink. The water was working there just fine. I went to the bathroom, flushed the toilet, it was working just fine.

Speaker 3: But you know that if you used it, then all of a sudden it's not gonna work.

Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody was told, hey, the water's gonna be shut off now. But knowing my luck, like what you just said, I would have easily taken a number two, tried flushing the toilet. It's just sitting there, and then Jay gets all upset.

Speaker 3: Andrea gets very upset. And I'm not gonna have to- You know who did it?

Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not gonna get myself in trouble that way. So I drove to the Maverick down the street. Okay, and used their restroom. And I had to awkwardly stand there in the bathroom because there was somebody in the the stall already. For a busy gas station to have only one stall, that feels like a crime.

Speaker 3: Yeah, dude. Uh I mean, is the one by the freeway a little bit bigger? That's the one I was talking about. Oh, you went all the way out to that one. That one down that way, yeah. Well there's two down that way.

Speaker 2: Oh not that one. I'm sorry. No, the one that's the one we usually go to. Okay, okay. But yeah, there was a guy in there and I hear him go,

Speaker 3: oh yeah, and then you got to sit down in one seat when he's done.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and so he gets out of there finally. I'm standing there awkwardly in the bathroom. Dudes are walking in going, why is this dude on his phone, like right next to the sinks?

And I look weird in public places overall, but you can imagine how weird I look standing there almost looking over the top of the bathroom stall. Oh yeah. Hey you done in there buddy? Like that kind of thing. So when you finally got out I use the restroom come back here and I get back and come to your office and you go like oh hey um Jade and Josh were looking for you.

And usually those guys never look for me. Yeah. Never. And so I'm like what what shenanigans are they up to? Yeah. And so I I get told by like I need to do some test with them or something. Oh great. Is this like some on air dumb thing to figure out the true demo of Z103 or something like that.

Speaker 3: I'm like I've heard it enough on air stuff. I know what I'm doing. And then but Jade's like okay follow me into the

Speaker 2: closet why am I following you to the closet I was expecting to put on like a white coat and like gloves. And he's like can you row these five sandbags? Yeah. I'm like Jade can you?

Speaker 3: Yeah they had me do it too and I lifted them up twice and I was like my back hurts.

Speaker 2: I did twice I did 10 reps and I went okay I'm done and I put them down. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Because there's a contest to win beef.

Speaker 2: And he was like all right beef cake good I'm like am I doing a physical like is this like the what we used to do in elementary school the what's the what's the the fitness test?

Speaker 3: Yeah. Didn't they bring that back? I thought I heard that they were bringing it back. They did bring that back.

Speaker 2: Yeah the fitness gram poser tested that because I could never do pull-ups. I never could either yeah and I I don't think we ever had to do the thing where you're supposed to climb a rope.

I think that you know was already gone by the time I was in school that was gone way before me. Yeah what a dangerous activity that was to climb the rope.

Speaker 2: To climb to the to the roof of the gym yeah and then make your way back down. Yeah.

Speaker 3: How many kids fell and just broke their legs busted arms I I bet there are horror stories online.

Speaker 2: What was that one thing that we had to do where we had to like do the reach thing we had to like you know like to curl up with our hands in the air or something stretch?

Speaker 3: Yeah. See how far you could stretch on the board.

Speaker 2: Or we can do like the hands behind the back and touch her hands.

Speaker 3: Yeah good at any of that stuff. I wasn't flexible I couldn't do pull-ups god suck sorry peaches I have a the yawn's bad

Speaker 2: that's okay that's okay people are gonna be yawning during my afternoon show today because it's that

Speaker 3: boring every day that's how I get my afternoon nap in oh you listen to Peaches on the way home

Speaker 2: especially your favorite segment the shot clock sports up

Speaker 3: oh yeah dude puts me right to bed it's great

Speaker 1: the noon hour of madness M M There's a production at River Band Media Group. For more information or to contact the show visit Riverbandmedia group dot com