The Viktor Wilt Show

This is the new hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor. I'm Becca.

And Becca, you said you have content for the show. Maybe just a little bit, but I've been hearing about Flying Foxes. Flying Foxes. Known as Fruit Bats and it's a plague in Australia.

The Flying Fruit Bat plague? Yes. I gotta Google this stuff. Yes. So screeching all day and night, piles of excitement, just... Oh excrement?

Yeah, excrement. I mean, it is kind of excitement. And anti-social, side effects like having a huge colony of fruit bats in the city. So they're just flying around like crazy screeching. And so if you want some flying creatures around, go to Australia. Australia's terrible.

Yeah. Why would anyone ever go there? Well, you seen their spiders? Yeah. And everything else? Snakes. Yeah. There was a story the other day where a woman woke up with a snake just sleeping on her chest.

She thought it was her dog. Yeah, well, they also have spiders like that have like crazy like spider webs all over the trees and it's nuts like... It's just terrible there. No, thank you. Yeah. Now I'm surprised you weren't like flying fruit bats. They're cute. You know, do you have pictures of them over there? We actually have a dead bat in our house. We do. We're money. Oh, I was like, what?

What do you mean? What cat brought that in? Now we're going to have to deal with the vet bills and rabies? No, it's a... What is it called? Taxidermy.

Yeah, taxidermy bat. It's all gothic. You know, very gothic.

Pretty cool. Okay, you had me worried for a minute there. I know the way you looked at me. You were terrified. Like, why are the... Where did one of the animals get a bat?

Which one did it? Now we got to take them all in to get them checked for rabies. Geez. Well, I think I'd rather deal... Well, I don't know, bat crap all over the place is pretty gross, but I think I'd rather deal with the bats than the snakes and spiders. I mean, giant spiders are not cute. Yeah, giant spiders, but at the same time, screaming bats. And that's just... At night. So you're just... Kind of like we were at a place the other day where there was lots of screaming going on. Do you remember this?

Yes. And it sounded like a horror movie, like an insane asylum. Yeah, I was like, what the heck is going on right now? Yeah. So I guess you deal with screaming bats all night.

You're waking up to snakes in your room, spiders all over the place that are the size of your hand. Why is anyone living in Australia? There's never anything good that comes out of Australia. Is there? No. No. I mean, I mean, I don't even know if I want to go to Australia ever, honestly, because you see all the crazy stuff and no thanks.

Yeah. Here's another story from Australia. Body of Canadian woman, 19 years old, found surrounded by dingos on Australian Island. What's dingos? Dingos are wild dogs. Oh.

She was killed by wild dogs. Oh. Yeah, that's another thing you have to worry about.

Okay, that's terrible. Yeah, yeah. Dingos. Okay, you know what?

I think hyenas are pretty scary, but... That's an Australian thing too, isn't it? Yeah, I think so. Or, yeah, or... Is that more... I don't know.

I don't know. Oh, and they've got a spike in shark attacks. Australia closes dozens of beach after shark attacks. You want to go to Australia with me? Let's have a vacation and go to Australia.

Yeah, we've been trying to figure out something to do. Something fun to get out of town. Let's just go to the Australian beach. You know, where dingos are going to kill you, or if you go in the water, you're going to get attacked by sharks. Or bats. Oh, yeah, and listen to just shrieking bats all night. Okay, here's a man who shared eight harsh truths about moving to Australia.

Let's see what he's got. He says, um, people are friendly and will stop for a chat, but forming friendships was hard because I guess they just don't let people into their social circles. Yeah, so you're not going to make any friends if you move to Australia. Sad. That is sad. Yeah, uh, now he says that Australia is peaceful and beautiful, but the quiet makes you feel lonely.

Oh, there's plenty of crews to keep you company. Okay, so it's like, um, what is it called? Like doomsday? Or like just know everyone dies and you're by yourself. It's like the last of us.

Yeah, the last of us. For 28 days later, you wake up suddenly. You're like, and probably if it's going to happen anywhere that you wake up and everyone is dead, it's Australia.

Let's see. This guy's lonely. So far, three of his things have been about loneliness. Not about bats? Nothing about bats. Creeching. Yeah.

Let's see. Well, the lifestyle is elite rent groceries and other utilities come at a premium. So it's also very expensive to live in this dump. It's a dump. It's a dump.

Weather's good all year round, but winters feel colder than in some countries because the houses are so badly insulated you're always freezing. Yay, that sounds like a good time. Yeah, nothing like thin walls for the bugs, the snakes, and you're freezing at the same time. Come on in, buddies.

Yeah, those aren't like that harsh of truth. It's like, yeah, it's lonely. It's lonely.

I need me some bugs. I don't have any friends. Then leave. Get out of Australia.

It sucks there. Come here, little fellas. This is the new hour of madness and mayhem. I'm Victor.

I'm Becca. And all right, you know that a lot of things gross me out and I'm a bit of a not bad but a little germaphobic sometimes. A lot of it. Wash your hands. Wash your hands. Clean yourself.

Clean yourself, please. Well, this woman posted on Reddit asking if she's a jerk for freaking out about some mail that was delivered to her house. She says my small town has one postal delivery person and we've had minimal issues since he started over the summer. Today a small plastic bag with a clothing item was delivered to my door inside a bag with a printed apology from the US Postal Service for a damaged package. The package was covered and covered in in what smelled like poop.

Poop. The original bag was placed inside the printed bag and sealed. But you can see and smell the dookie. So she gets a bag of poo in the mail and the clothing item is disgusting and garbage. Uh, do you think she'd be a jerk to complain about that to the post office? Um, I would just wonder who delivered it. I mean they said it was a damaged package and I'm trying to figure this one out here. Okay, so the original package, you're guessing it was sent? Well, maybe what if it was sent and someone literally like opened it up?

I'm guessing they used the shirt or clothing item to maybe wipe themselves? Yes. Yeah. Yikes. And then they sealed it back up.

That's terrible. But the package looked damaged so the post office just put it in a bag. And then they just delivered it and I was like, there you go. Oh gosh.

Oh gosh. So I guess she had tried to contact the local post office to go, you know, can you guys like see what the heck happened here? And they, you know, just routed her through the automated system over and over and over again. That's usually how it works.

I mean, you know. So she went to her local community group on Facebook, I guess, and the actual postal worker responded and asked what, you know, they'd like him to do. So she suggested not delivering packages.

Take it back to a supervisor and let them deal with it or mark it undeliverable. And then he got rude and is like, why don't you just report me then? I find it hilarious because the Adam Sandler movie, what is it? Billy Madison, when they find dog poop and put it in a bag and light it on fire. Don't dig nung ditch, kids.

Yeah, don't dig nung ditch. What's a flaming poop bag? Oh, I know it's so fun.

Martha, there's another bag of fire on a porch again. Yeah. We just.

You don't put it out with your boots then. We just rewatched that movie recently and it was way crazier than I remembered. That movie was just bizarre. It's so funny. Yeah, earlier on the morning show, I was talking about that show Uncut Gems.

I assume since you're the biggest Adam Sandler fan ever. Yeah, I've seen it. Yeah. Did that movie make you just squirm? It kind of did a little bit because, you know, it's kind of weird seeing Adam Sandler and like a create like a different like mine.

I don't know how to explain it like a different actor than what he normally is. Yeah. But I mean, I really liked it. It was good, but it was a little weird.

Yeah, it made me just it was one of those shows where I'm like, stop making these decisions. Why are you doing this? Yeah. Stop.

Yeah. But I mean, I still liked it. I like all Adam Sandler films.

I mean, also I want to watch Little Nicky again because that's my favorite. Well, we've got airheads lined up. Yeah, we were we were going to watch last night, but I guess tonight we're going to go to the hockey game.

So probably not going to. Well, we might before hockey game. We'll probably have time to watch that while we have some fish. Got to have fish for going to the hockey game as discussed earlier on the morning show. Yeah, JD. And if you're still listening, you got to come and bring fish in your pants.

Bring fish in your pants. Yeah, we'll have to watch Uncut Gems again because what reminded me of that movie? Uncut Gems made me squirm at the character decisions. But I like that movie, but it reminded me of the movie we watched on Friday. You know, No Good Deed, where I just wanted to punch every character in the movie. Oh, we were both upset at that movie. You were mostly upset at that movie. Yeah, because that one was like a bad movie, too. And just every single character's decision. And it was just like, what? Why? Why are you doing this?

And then the stupid twist at the end was like the dumbest twist ever. Yeah. Yeah. And then we were just like, OK, we're done. We're done with this. Thank goodness it's over. But we made it so far. It's like we got to sit through the end. Yeah. You know, it started off with promise.

But then, man, did it go downhill? Quick. Yeah. Just quick and didn't make any sense. Yeah. So yeah. Well, I've checked that one out.

And that other Adam Sandler movie we just watched that I hadn't even heard of. Hustle. Hustle. That was another movie where he played a different type of character. Yeah. And that one is really, really good. That one was really good. Yeah. That's a great one. Is that based on a true story?

I don't know if it's based on a true story, but I mean, I don't know. I love Adam Sandler. He's my celebrity boyfriend or husband. What? Yeah. I'm going to fight him. Where are you at, Adam Sandler? She can't have a boyfriend.

I won't fight you. He's my celebrity husband. So now he's your celebrity husband. And then I have you as a husband.

And then I have a bar husband as well. This is ridiculous. I will not stand for this. I'm fed up. All right. Time for me to go fight a lot of people. I'm going to get all riled up now.

You love them all. I know. I know.

It's the new hour of madness and mayhem. I am Victor. And I am Becca. And Becca just found this article about dogs. You know, I've never had a dog until you moved into the house.

Yes. And it's been, you know, a learning process because dogs are very different than cats. A little more demanding, a little bit crazy.

A little bit crazier. They're also bigger. And when they're a certain height and they jump up on you, if they're the perfect height, they always just kick you in the groin. I was going to say, yeah.

And then she always kicks you in the, uh. Yeah. Yeah.

She's getting, but well, I know now I'm always prepared when you open the door or the kennel. You know, like, all right, block. You know, I got the hands down and turn around. I'm like, no jumping. No jumping. She likes to jump.

She does. I know. She's getting better though. She's, you know, she's a really smart dog and, uh, you know, really trainable. You know, we've been, uh, working with her on, uh, stay. You know, which is a hard one for her because she does, she likes to be around everybody. Oh yeah.

She's been doing really good with the whole staying thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And apparently dogs in general are pretty smart. You found this article about dogs learning new words by eavesdropping on their owners. So they're always listening. They're always listening. Peaches.

Yeah, just like peaches. Always eavesdropping and always listening. Yeah, I said I pulled the article up and they're like, you know, they'll even learn when you start spelling out words like T-R-E-A-T. Yeah, they're smart. They'll figure out, oh, I know what that means. I wonder if that would work with peaches though. You're like a G-O. What? G-O.

Just start spelling words out when he's eavesdropping so he won't know what we're talking about because he can't spell. Oh, goodness. No, I think peaches can spell. Smell? I think he can smell too.

I'm pretty sure because, you know. I know he can. He's pretty good at giving the heads up, you know, when it's time to not go near the public bathroom here in the building. Like, am I going to stay away from there for a while so I would assume, well, maybe he can't smell.

Maybe it's his own problem. I love you peaches. Yeah, you know we're just playing peaches.

I know you can spell. Geez. But yeah, it's weird how fast dogs learn things. Like, you know, how you, I don't know if you were on air when you mentioned this, but Millie knows what got to go means. You know, she'll get in the kennel.

Yeah. When sometimes you can be like Millie kennel and she's just leaping all over the place tearing across the couch. Right, but then when I'm like, got to go, she's immediately in the kennel.

Yeah, she just goes right in. Or like when Emery puts on her shoes, she'll immediately go in the kennel because she knows that I got to take her to school. Yeah, I, and you wonder if cats are also as smart, but they're just stubborn. Cause you've seen like Lucy, she can hear, she knows what come here means and she just looks at you and then walks away like screw you. She's a cat that's just like, no, I'm going to do what I want.

I'm going to, I'll come to you when I come to you. And if not, then no. And all the other ones, they're just all about it. Yeah, I'll get right on you.

Yeah. But her, she's, she is a stubborn little cat. Especially Jess. Like Jess is crazy.

Jess just will not leave us alone. She is so weird. The weirdest cat cause she's 15. You know, and when I first met her, I thought she was just quiet, timid, would hide. She's the biggest lunatic of all the animals in the house. She's nuts. Yeah, she acts like she's like two. Yeah, she acts like a kitten. You know, she is wild. She'll be tearing all over the place. She wake up at 3am.

She's going nuts. Just attacking your feet. I haven't had feet attacked by a cat since, yeah, Lucy was a kitten. Yeah, she attacks his feet all the time.

It's hilarious. She gives a high five though. Oh yeah, she does do high fives, which is really cool.

It's really cool. We got to get a good video of Jess giving a high five. Cause that seems like one of those things that could go viral. Like people love animals doing cute things online.

And if we were like high five and she's like, yeah. I actually have a couple of videos. We need to post one on like a TikTok or something like that.

Cause I bet it would go viral. But yeah, for being 15, like I've had old cats. You know, I found the oldest cat in the world and showed you the picture of her.

Yeah. And it looked like you said it was Jess's mom. It looked like her.

It looked just like Jess. Like we're, this cat's going to be around till she's 30. Cause she is. She does not act like a 15 year old cat at all.

She is insane. But she has no teeth except two. Maybe that's part of it. Maybe there's some about the no teeth. I don't know. That's helping her live longer.

I doubt it. I think she's just hardcore. Well, she has no teeth and she's 15. You make it to 15 with no teeth.

You've got to be pretty hardcore. Yeah. And she's tiny and the other cats are all afraid of her.

Yeah. They're terrified of her. Like terrified of her. And she doesn't have teeth. And she doesn't have teeth. And she beats on them and chases them and they all run away.

Yeah. Even Millie the dog's afraid of her. But Millie and Lucy hate each other.

So yeah. Oh Millie and Lucy, the biggest headache. I think they're starting to like each other. I think it's become a game. I'm starting to get curious.

I've thought about, but I know it would terrify you. Just opening the door when Lucy's by the door and just letting Millie chase her because they sit and stare at each other and then they, you know, like bat at each other and you know, like bark and growl. But they're, they still sit there and stare at each other. Maybe they just want to stare at each other, but without the actual physical physical mess. They hate each other so bad. It's crazy. Because Millie will hit out the window and then Lucy will hit out the window and she'll hiss and then Millie will bark. Yeah.

It's just bizarre that they're still doing that. But the last time that I had an inadvertent, you know, encounter where the two of them met each other, you know, Millie just chased her and Lucy ran behind the couch. There wasn't a lot of barking or hissing or anything. So I'm wondering if it's starting to become a game to them. I think maybe it's a game to Millie, you know, and maybe I don't know. I don't know.

How do you think we test it? Just let them go for her? I know. I'm scared for that right now. Just one day, just open the kennel suddenly when Lucy's in the dining room. I will not be there and I better not be there when you do it. I'm not going to do it.

You better not tell me about it either. This is the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor. This is Becca Smith. And we are going to talk about something fun.

Oh, that button's not working. Come on. We got to have the right music for, you know, the fun topic we're going to dig into here. We're going to talk about death.

That's right, everybody. Unpleasant deaths that are in the news. And we're not trying to make light of these, but, you know, I've had a lot of death in my life and I always try to do my best to somehow get a good laugh out of it. Because I think the person would have appreciated that, you know? Yeah, sure. They don't want you to be sitting around all sad and mopey.

Yeah, hopefully not. Like when I kick the bucket, I hope that somehow everybody can get a good laugh out of it. Hopefully I go in a way that's so ridiculous that people can't help but make jokes about it. When I am done and I'm over with, I swear, if someone doesn't show up to my funeral with a grim reaper costume on, just standing there, I will be really sad.

All right, what do you think about selfies at the casket? No. That's scary. That's really scary. Uh-uh. I won't even go up to a casket.

No. I mean, I do think that viewings are pretty weird and unpleasant, because, you know, they got to, like, put all that makeup on them and it looks all strange. Like when my dad died, I guess he hadn't shaved in a long time. I hadn't seen him for a bit. But usually he was just clean-shaven. And he had grown this long white beard. So, you know, you go up to the casket and it's like, who is this? You're like, this isn't my dad. That, because I had never seen him with a, I didn't know he had a white beard. Yeah.

Yeah, that would be great. I mean, it was bright white. Hey, yours is going to be white hair soon. Hey, settle down.

Settle down. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess depending on the nature of how I go, you know, you could do an open casket. You know, if I died like the breadmaker, I don't know if you want to have an open casket.

Because he died in the breadmaking machine. Yeah. You know. He was like a 71 year old, beloved pastry chef, killed in a freak accident in a breadmaking machine. Yeah, an industrial dough maker. I don't mean to laugh. Like that's terrible. But I mean, that's kind of a brutal way to go out.

Okay. Well, if you're a breadmaker, don't they say, you know, you want to go out doing what you love? I guess, I guess that's anything that really, I mean, even ships like, you know, like a captain. They go down with the ship. They go down with the ship.

That's right. So I suppose if you're a breadmaker, getting eaten by the bread machine is probably the way to go. Like, I mean, how could the radio studio take me out? I mean, I guess electrocution would be, you know, the one thing I could think of, you know, wouldn't it be weird if all of a sudden, oh, this would be a bad April Fool's prank.

Oh my goodness, you can't say it now. You got away and then actually do it. I've done some April Fool's pranks on air in the past where I like got fired or something like that. But yeah, if I just suddenly was talking and then like, and then like through the chair on the ground and made a loud crash and then just left the music bed going, we could like buy some like fake lights and make it look like there is like electrocuting you around your body. You can probably do it with Sora. I could make a video where I get electrocuted doing my, well, you got to do it in person though, because then they won't believe it. Well, you'd want to make it seem like it happened live on air. That's why I was thinking, you know, you do the loud thud and then the music bed just keeps going with no talking and then there's just silence.

Sounds sounds like a good plan. What's going on? Is he okay? Is he all right? Everything going to be okay. Geez. What was that other story you told me about the girls who died in a freak accident?

Let me turn on the fun music again. So it was a teenage best friends die after a sand full that they dug. It collapses, burying them alive in the Florida park. The baker was a Florida man too.

Yeah. Florida. It's all Florida. It's kind of like Australia.

You just don't want to go there. So you have two teenagers who are like, let's go to the beach and dig a hole and they're digging this deep hole and then the hole just fills in on them. And then they die. So they were eaten by the beach. Yeah.

Geez. There's a lot of people getting eaten by unexpected things in the news today. Florida man eaten by his bread machine.

Florida teens eaten by the beach. I'm sure there's Australia stuff going on. There always is. Geez. Well, you know, if I do manage to go in a way that I'm not mangled, you know, I just want to let you know people can take selfies at the casket. I think I'd rather be like propped up. You know, like you put me in a chair, you know, because it lay in there.

Are you kidding me? You're like when you go get pictures with Santa, you would want to be propped up and be like, Hey, yeah, we can be like, Hey, everyone sit on Santa's lap. And you're just dead. How do you dress me up as Santa? You know, give me a weird white beard. Like my dad had.

Prop me up in the chair. And then people can take pictures. You could put a Christmas backdrop.

Merry Christmas. I would do like a really dark evil kind of thing. And I wouldn't put you in a Santa.

I would do something like creepy. I still want the white beard. Just because I don't give you the white beard. Okay.

And then let people take pictures. And and then, you know, I don't know if you're familiar with the former Russian leader, Vladimir Lemon. No, I think that was his first name. Well, to this day, they keep him preserved in a museum.

Gross. Like, I think he's one of these land. Kind of like a mummy, but they use some kind of stuff to keep him looking pretty fresh. And he's been that way for like, 100 years.

Pretty fresh. That's scary. So will you have the museum of Idaho do that to me? Will you ensure that this happens? And then everyone in East Idaho can just, you know, hey, you'll be walking by. This is Victor Wilt. Yeah, you walk by.

This is Victor Wilt from K-V-R-1-O-1. Yeah, they got all the photos of like the history of Idaho Falls and stuff. And you walk over to the next exhibit and there's like Native American artifacts. Then there's this big plastic, you know, coffin. And, you know, I'm just wearing a hoodie, like a tool hoodie.

If you really, yeah, a tool hoodie. Yeah. Okay. If you really wanted that and you put those in your wishes, I will get it done.

All right, Museum of Idaho, I expect to have my wishes honored. Mine is the Grim Reaper. And someone has to have like a box on their shoulder, like playing some crazy, weird, sad music. Or like just like, you know, who's the guy? What's his face? Danny McBride?

Yeah, Danny McBride. And he has the box. And he's at that funeral. Oh, yeah. And he's at that funeral and he starts playing that song. Yes.

And a Grim Reaper. And I want to be pre-mated. Okay. Now, would it be in bad taste if, I mean, you better not go before me. But if you did, if I came dressed as a Grim Reaper. I would be so happy. You'd be happy.

I would be so happy. I don't know about your family. Family might think that's in bad taste.

I don't care about my family. This is for me. Thank you again for tuning in to the Victor Wilt Show. This program is a production of River Bend Media Group. To contact the show or for more information, hit us up at riverbendmediagroup.com.